E28: The Amazon Review Killer

This week we have our very first true crime case on the mic. Join us as we discuss the challenges Todd Kohlhepp faced as a young teen that may have lead to him becoming a notorious serial killer. We talk about his early life, his success after prison (the first time) and what kind of person he seemed to be. tune in next week to hear about the horrifying crimes he committed, and how he was caught. The crystal of the week is sunstone. Stay Chaotic!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This will be a good mic test, okay? This is this is for you, Allie, because you say that you love it when I do this. There's this song that's been on TikTok for a long ass time, and and and it just it hit me this morning. I fucking cried to it like eight times it goes.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Hey, hey, it's okay. Everybody feels kinda weird some days. Hey, hey, it's okay. Everybody feels kinda weird some days. You don't have to try to please nobody. You just have to try to please your own buddy. Hey, hey, it's okay. Everybody feels kinda weird some days.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

I like that one. Yeah, I know. I heard that one too, and I really, really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Elise Myers reposted it yesterday. Oh god, I love that woman. If I ever meet her, I'm gonna freak the fuck out in a weird way. I'm just gonna be like, you are human. I'd be like, you exist. Oh my god. Like, I don't know. I'll probably look like I'm pooping myself. You know. Anyways.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Welcome to Conduring Chaos. We're two witchy weirdos with microphones. I'm Allie, and this is my co-host Chase. And I don't like pears. And we're here to tell you something weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Let's set the vibe. Let's go ahead and take our deep breath in. And out. Why were my lungs so small for that? I'm not sure. Go ahead and pull a finger. Alrighty. So it's time to get our fingers up and our socks down.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Our lucky number today is 31. 31. What's with all the prime numbers? And today's advice is fuck what they think. I know who I am. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Yep. Yeah, I wish I would have realized that one a lot sooner in life, to be completely honest with you.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Same.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

I think being your most authentic self is always the way to be. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

And when you're your most authentic self, you don't have to be apologetic. Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Yeah, for sure. Um, what's um what's chaotic in your life this week, Allie? Um my tire keeps flatting. What? You have a hole in it.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Well, that's maybe it might be like a small hole. Because it like I I fill it up and then it like fluttons out in like a week. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Well, we are also having a lot of temperature fluctuations in the same cause. But you could have a bedroom if you've run over any curves lately.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

You can slip down in your hands.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Um, also, uh, yeah, you could have a hole in it. You can always find it by making like super concentrated soap water and pouring it on the tire.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Did you know discount tire will also just check your tires?

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Yeah. Yeah, they'll do that. They'll also we re-air them up for free. Yeah, it's kind of nice.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

It's kind of nice. This isn't a discount tire plug, but so uh what's uh what's been chaotic in your life like this?

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Listen, okay. Wild fucking dreams. That's what's chaotic in my life. Yeah, I know you love a good dream story. I just talked about my last episode. Yeah, so uh I literally took notes because listen, okay, so lately I've been having these wild fucking dreams where my dad is alive again. And it's just kind of like become canon that he's canon, canon? Yeah, what's the right pronunciation? Doesn't matter, canon. It's become canon that he's alive in my dreams again. Don't know how, but literally, like it's not unusual for me to say in my dream a sentence that starts with, well, you know, ever since my dad came back to life.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Oh, okay. So yeah, no, it is canon in your dream.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

It is literally, and it's first of all, that alone is fucking wild. Okay, that my dad is alive in my dreams. Um and then for what it's worth, like lately I've been going through a lot of growth. I've had a lot of like personal and spiritual growth. So I'm not gonna say that this is a ghosty situation. Um, however, I also wake up in the middle of the night, and by middle of the night, I mean like three o'clock in the morning often, and it smells like there's cigarette smoke, like just in my face. Like someone's exhaling their fucking cigarette smoke in my face. And my dad was a heavy smoker of Marboro Reds. Um, he was also like a black coffee drinker, and sometimes I wake up in the morning around like 5:30, six o'clock in the morning, the time he would wake up for work. And my house smells like a hot brewed cup of coffee, like like someone just turned off the coffee maker. So it's just kind of weird. He didn't die in that house or on that property, um, or anywhere near it for what it's worth. Yeah. I mean, he it was closer to that house than the house that I grew up in that he we lived in when he passed away, um, because he was further up the highway from where, anyways. So but beside the point though, beside the point, it's just weird, okay. And so like he just like uh re-res like resurrected in the world. So there's been a couple of times where this happens, but then like I realize it's a dream, and then the next time that I dream he's not alive anymore, right? But um the other night, last Thursday night, to be exact, today's still the 13th because we record several in a dick. And anyways, so like I can't control my dream itself, but I can control what I do and say in them. So last Thursday night I had this dream that he got rid of my cat from my house without talking to me. Um, mind you, a cat that is no longer living, but has also suddenly become canon that it's still alive in my dreams. Okay. Also, um, this one is even creepier because like I've been getting like the the cat against the leg feeling a lot in the kitchen, and he used to do that to me a lot. So just interesting to me. And so for some reason, he went to my house, left the house that he lives in, which is my mom's current house. Um, and in my dream, like he has the master bedroom, and my mom has moved to the living room because she doesn't want to live with in his same space because they're no longer married because he died and till death to us part does not mean if he resurrects somehow. Anyways, wild. Okay, my dream world's wild. So he takes my cat, goes to my house, takes the cat out of my house, and takes it to Jay and Gloria Pritchett's house from Modern Family, which for some reason is just an oddly slightly different version of my mom's house in my dream. Like, so like uh going through their house, and I'm literally like fighting, like having a fist fight with Gloria from Modern Family, the last person you would ever want to get in a fight with. Sophia regards. Yeah, I'm like having a fist fight with her, and I'm like, Gloria, where the fuck is my cat? Who the fuck brought him here? Why the fuck is he here? And I'm like pissed off at her because she won't talk to me about it. And she just keeps giggling and like looking at me funny. And like, I literally, when I walked into the house, I saw the cat, my cat laying on the ground. Like I saw him laying there. He got up and like jumped up on the table, and then she walked in and like he jumped back down and got scared. So like I knew he was there, and so I didn't get an answer, but I I and I couldn't find him after that because she scared him off and he was hiding. So I go back to my house and I like waited for my brother to get back from from where he was at because he was with my father wherever they were. And so they finally get back and they're at my house, and my dad sees me and tries to talk to me, and I'm like, no. And I like walk over to my older brother and I'm like yelling at him, like, did dad take my cat? Was it dad that took my cat? Because I was pissed off, right? And so he's acting like it was an honest mistake, right? He's like, Oh no, uh, Gizmo got out, and uh, since he has a chip and it has your mom's address, and so that's why he took it to your mom's house. And I was like, first of all, he took him to Jay and Gloria's house, okay? And that's not true. Like, he's never been chipped in his life, so that's bullshit that you think that that's an actual excuse. Like, why the fuck did he take my cat? So I'm like really mad. I'm like in my brother's face about it. And I'm like, ready to find it. No, like, and here's the thing that really makes me mad is that's some shit my actual dad would have pulled. Like, that's something he would have done, you know? And I think that's why what it got me so worked up, and for some reason, like it was one of those dreams where like it was so realistic that I forgot it was a dream until I woke up and then I was like, Oh yeah, Gizmo died two years ago. It was like weird, like, oh shit, that's right. Okay, no, it's actually three years ago now. Hasn't been shit. It's been that long. Yep, it's been that long. Yeah, so that's my chaos. That's uh that sounds like a lot of chaos.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

I'm I was thinking you should you could have probably done this one last episode.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

I should have, honestly. Both about dreams. That's a good point. It's okay. It's okay. So what's chaotic in your life, Allie? Did I already ask you? Yeah, you're just going crazy now. So since we're already chaotic, that's uh let's jump into today's chaos. I'm gonna. This is seven pages, so there's definitely some commentary option, optional commentary places. So you guys might get through another let's talk about the same thing again. So before we get started, I do want to mention a trigger warning. There is some disturbing things that are discussed in this case, and if you don't want to hear about SA or cruelty to animals, probably don't listen to this particular episode. I'm sorry, we would love to hear you for the next one. If you do continue, thank you so much for supporting the podcast and all of the research that I did for this particular episode. Okay, so this is the story of Todd Colehep. Have you ever heard this name? I have not. Um, I hadn't either until someone made some just like random comment one day and was like, you know, the Amazon review killer. And I was like, I have researched. So that's what we're gonna talk about today is the Amazon review killer. Oh, I don't know how we want to split it up, but we'll figure it out. AR-K the ARK, the ARK, ARK, I don't know why I have to like unemphasize the K, but Amazon review killer. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. Let's jump right on in. Okay. Obviously, he's a murderer. He's a murderer, a murderer. Uh so while seasoned homicide detectives were no strangers to terrible carnal crimes, Cole Hep would turn out to be quite different. Let's talk about his story, his story. His story? The story of his. He was born Todd Christopher Samson on March 7th, 1971, in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Florida.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Right. I was about to say, I was like already off to a bad start.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

I look up and you're looking at me with this look like, is this is this an what is this? It's a Florida man. It's a Florida man. He's a Florida man. Let me tell you, this is a scary Florida man. His parents were divorced when he was only two years old, and his mother, Regina Tag, got remarried. So she remarried a man named Carl Colhe, and Carl legally became Todd's stepfather in 1967 when he was about five years old. Oh, okay, that explains the last name change. So I'm gonna refer to Todd by his last name from this point on. If I'm talking about his dad, I will say his dad's first name. So he despised his stepfather and he really wanted to live with his biological father, and he would spend a few years in counseling before that would come to be in 1983. So when he was eight years old, is when he uh got to move in with his father and stepmother. Um, he began to show disturbing behavior when the family was residing in South Carolina and Georgia when he was living with his mother and stepfather. He was known to be a bully. He destroyed school projects of his classmates, and he was thrown out of the Boy Scouts for bad behavior. Wow, I didn't know that that was something. I guess that makes sense. Yeah, I'm like, you don't get thrown out of anywhere for bad behavior. That's a good point. That makes sense, though. Like, I mean, because Boy Scouts of America are trying to teach good things. Trigger warning, trigger warning. He killed a goldfish with bleach. Okay. And another trigger warning. Trigger warning. Skip ahead a couple seconds. Uh sh if you don't want to hear it. Shot a local dog with a baby gun. Did that kill the dog? No, but it's excruciating. It's probably painful. It can cause the pellets to like stick in their skin if they if they um break the skin, depending on if it's airsofter. Yeah. If it's made if it's compressed airsoft, then it's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Well, those are classic signals of uh serial color children. Yeah. I mean we already know where the story is.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

I was about to say you are reading between the lines here, or maybe you know, just reading the title. So he struggled with anger and cruelty since childhood because he was also bullied at home. Okay, which is you know a classic sign for these kinds of cases. Usually, people who uh hurt people are hurt people. So he was abused by his family, he was abandoned often, and his grandfather would hit him with a cattle prod. Ooh, which is fucking horrible, just awful. That's the electric cow stick. Yeah, the yes, the electric cow stick. Oh my god. Oh, okay. Um, oh yeah, there's some trigger warnings coming up.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

So by the time he was nine, who's admitted into a mental hospital? Um, at this point, who's very, very angry and combative. At nine? That's nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Which I mean, again, you you see a lot of like Yeah, it's usually around that age, nine to twelve, then it starts showing itself.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Or um where issue like behavioral issues start showing themselves. Exactly. Let's see. When his mother entered her second divorce, it was decided, it was decided Culp should live with his father instead.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Okay, so that's when that's when he got to move in with his dad, was when he was nine. My thing is so his dad was still alive.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Why did the how did how I wonder how the legal process went up like changing his getting his last name change to the person that he doesn't like to be here? Who knows? Who knows? He learned how to blow things up and make bombs with his father. Wonderful, great influence. So yeah, the guy the Ken did not have uh good influence as well.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Classic classic great father syndrome.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

He also ended up learning to hate his dad because um Samson spent most of his time on dates. Okay, so that's probably the abandonment that he colak demanded that his mother and stepfather take him back home, but they made excuses to keep him in tempeh with his biological father. So I that is sad. Um when kids like want to go like with their dad and they realize okay, dad's not the best. And then mom doesn't want him back.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

No, you're that doesn't help with his already current currently degrading situation.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

His father later claimed the only emotion he knew was fury. I don't know if that's saying like the father's emotion. Cola. The boy, yeah. Oh, the boy's uh only emotion he knew was fury. That fury became apparent when Kolop was just 15 on November 25th, 1986. Trigger warning on this. So while his father was away, Colip lured a local girl out of her house by claiming her boyfriend wanted to talk to her. He forced her into his home with a 22 caliber revolver and bound her limbs with rope and taped her mouth shut.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

No, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

The trigger warning is continuing. Yes. Okay, yeah. So this this is the trigger warning for uh essay. After raping her, he walked her home and warned her that he would kill her family if she told anyone what happened. He was arrested within hours and diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Oh, that's the one that's like the most common. Um his psychiatric evaluation showed signs of emotional disturbance, but not psychosis and an IQ of 118. I don't know what that means. Me either. Hey Google.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

Good or bad, or hey Google. It falls into the high average or bright category according to the dudes. He was a bright, sadistic child. Jesus. Oh, because he was only 15 at the time, too.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Yeah. And I mean, I guess to be able to think of all of that and be able to execute those kind of plans like at that age. Yeah. When asked why he raped the innocent girl, he said he was angry at his father. None of his three guardians visited him in jail. His dad is stepdad. That is depressing. Kind of, but I mean, at the same time, it's like we kind of saw that coming from their lack of support so far. Yeah. The juvenile probation officer recommended he be tried as an adult. He accepted a plea deal where he pleaded guilty to the kidnapping charge, which then dismissed the sexual assault charge. However, he was still required to register as a sex offender. That's still sickening. Yeah. He was given 15 years without the possibility of parole on January 19th, 1987.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

I'm glad that they gave him like no possibility of parole, at least. Like, no, you're gonna do your time.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

Yeah. And 15 years, I think, is a good amount of time, but still the fact that it got rid of the sexual assault charges would have been like that's just insane. This is commentary from the presiding judge. At less in the age of nine, this juvenile was impulsive, explosive, and preoccupied with sexual content. He has not changed. He has been unabatedly aggressive to others and destructive of property since nursery school. He also said Colep was very bright and should be advanced academically, but behaviorally and emotionally dangerous and likely could not be rehabilitated. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Yeah that's pretty that's pretty precise, not precise. Um direct to direct to see that's really direct for us.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

But I guess they can like when you're do with when you're dealing with people like that all the time, you can tell which not I not you can tell which ones can be rehabilitated, but which ones are gonna are gonna have a harder time being rehabilitated. Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

And I mean I think that a judge, you know, they've had enough experience and stuff like this that, you know, they might be able to recognize those kinds of things pretty quickly. Let's see. Colhep's probation officer wrote a similar description in court papers and added that Colhep, quote, felt the world owed him something. Mmm, that that's never a good, never a good big red flag. Wave it in the breeze. During his imprisonment, Colhep was cited for violations that included some violent behavior. However, after turning 20, so what five years after five years after the incident, he had no other records of disobedience. I so that means he went a whole decade without any disobedience in in prison. While he was incarcerated, he attended and graduated from Central Arizona College with a bachelor's degree in computer science. I think it's a cool thing that like people can get an education and like become better when they're when they are in the system. Yeah. However, I think that when it's blatantly obvious that someone is dangerous like this, that that can also make it a dangerous thing because now you're educating them and putting them in a position of power sometimes, you know? I don't know. I but I do think that education is important. And then it helps a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Maybe you shouldn't have more emotional.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

They should teach emotional intelligence classes. I don't know if you can teach emotional intelligence. That might even be more dangerous. I don't know. Right? Like, for instance, if they're a psychopath, you know. Like a narcissist, then you're teaching them how to fake emotions better, basically, right? That's scary. It would be fun to do an episode on stuff like that, like narcissism and borderline personality disorder, stuff like that. So he was released in August 2001 at 30 years old. So he did serve, in fact, the entire 15 years. He then moved to Spartanburg, South Carolina. I've never heard of that place. Me either. I know my dad lived in Greenville, South Carolina.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Is that near the beach? Uh Greenville? No.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

So after he moved to Spartanburg, he got his first driver's license. And at 30, wow. Well, I mean, he was in he was in prison, but like that's crazy just to think. Like, I mean, Gypsy Rose didn't get her first driver's license until she was in her 30s either.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

But was that because of the whole her mom keeping her in a wheelchair? No, that was because she was in prison.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

Yeah. Yeah. I would love to do an episode on her, but I think I don't know. I don't feel right about it because I literally like watched all of her documentaries and stuff. And in the one that she's actually a part of, she says, and when she's talking about her book, that that was her turn to tell her story, that she was tired of hearing everyone else tell her story. So, you know, let's see. Okay. So he got his first driver's license and found a job at the Stephen Sons and Company sports apparel business by lying on his resume and adding fabricated employment history. Already off to a great start. In 2003, he went back to college and graduated in 08 with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration Marketing. Don't know what that means. He did marketing. That's what I got out of that. He got a marketing degree. That's what our friend Julia Pax, the author of Quiet All Along, has too. Despite being a registered sex offender, Colhep got a real estate license on June 30th, 2006, after lying about the felony charge on his application. Really great start. Off to a really great start now. He went on to build one of the top agencies in the Carolina region. That's that's a smart part of his brain. Diabolical. It's diabolical is what it is. In May of 2014, he purchased almost a hundred acres of land near Moore County and had an $80,000 fence built around it. That why we know why, but why? Like really, that's not sus at all.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

The weird thing is that the that like police or anybody isn't following up with his like day, like not daily activity, but like activity after jail.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

Right, because like clearly he didn't have probation afterwards, right? So like or maybe he did, but yeah, no, it doesn't say anything about that. It doesn't say anything about probation or parole. Also, he was learning how to fly planes.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

That's not they're giving this man too much freedom.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Right, that's how I feel too. I don't know. It's just it's not good, it's not a great start. Speaking of learning to fly planes, planes can be used for crop dusting. And that doesn't just mean farting while you walk past someone. That is when a plane uh dumps water on a crop to feed it water. And you know what kind of crop needs water? So let's uh let's fly over this amazing corny joke.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Let's crop dust this amazing corny joke. Let's crop dust is beyond okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

What has four wheels and flies? Four wheels and flies? A garbage truck. That one was it was okay. It was alright. It was yeah, it was alright. It was stinky, yeah, it was pretty bad. Okay, so now we're gonna talk a little bit about his personality. We've talked about his first crime, yes, first crime, because obviously there was nothing to do with Amazon reviews in that first part. So um, his personality. He was consistently described as, quote, very bright and intelligent. And one of his neighbors during his teenage years in Arizona described him as, quote, a devil on a chain. You know, I feel like we can agree with that neighbor at this point. At least I agree with that neighbor so far. Uh, a woman who was one of his clients described him as extremely outgoing and professional, but did note that he would often talk about his firearms and sometimes subtly slip sexual innuendo in their conversations. This is so gross. Yeah. Professional. But he would say some slimy things. No, thank you. Not for me.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Another woman that assisted one of his employees described him as angry and condescending toward her partner.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Ew.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

A mortgage banker he often used said Colep was a hair on fire kind of guy. What is that even? I'm not sure. Oh, no, no. You know how when people are so angry, like they're oh yeah, okay, okay. That's not a good look. Hair on fire guy who gave off the impression that if he wanted to take you out, he could take you out easily. Gross.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

I don't like that. Mm-mm. Ugh.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

He's got these are some red flags, red flags all around.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

Just a a shining, a shining guy. Pillar computer.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Cole frequently visited a waffle house in Roebuck. His behavior disturbed the waitress to the point that the male cook had to take his orders for them. The fact that they weren't just picking him out and seriously.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Your your two dollar potatoes that you're gonna order are so important to us that we're gonna let you make this make this waitress super uncomfortable in her workplace.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Come on. Well, uh, unfortunately, it looks like the waitress um ended up being one of the victims later down the line.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

See, that makes it even worse. It's like that makes it so much worse.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

I do want to say it was according to this employee. So I guess according to the the cook that was taking his orders. A college classmate described him as a wolf in sheep's clothes. Ew. Again, with the yeah, the devil. Uh, even saying though he appeared polite and well dressed, he was frequently argumentative and challenged professors often. So I mean it seems like everybody could see that this guy was just very angry, like just angry.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

Yeah, well, and like that that comes off as very like arrogant, you know, and arrogance is that's one of the things that comes with borderline personality disorder, which you know, we learned he was diagnosed with, but that's also like one of the big things about people who like just do their thing and think like, oh, no one's ever gonna, I'm never gonna have consequences for my actions, you know. Yeah, just that blatant, blatant confidence.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

A tenant who rented a home of Colips described him as someone that just talks a lot about money and the kind of person you had to manage his presence around you so you don't get managed.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Ew, yeah, that's coming off real like pushy, controlly. Talking about money is always like that's that's someone trying to like establish a stature with something. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Yeah, like a he's above you or something.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Establishing a status. That's what I'm trying to do.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Some of his professional acquaintances claimed he is extremely outgoing and professional and a hard worker. And some mentioned odd behaviors like watching pornography at work.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

That's definitely a red flag. That can stay like that's some of that blatant like confidence, too, though, you know, like just unwavering think that like that's not it's okay for me, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Like that kind of just like blatant disregard for how that looks, even these are some other ways that he was also described little or no conscience, so I guess not narcissists, yeah, not being aware of like what they're doing, why like what it's affecting around them. Um self-centered, demanding no remorse or empathy. He would con others and play theatrical roles to fool both victims and society.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Lovely. Sounds like a sounds like a great guy.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

Master, master, um, what master manipulator? Master manipulator, not a lesbian, thesbian, master thespian.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Oh my god, that's funny. Yeah, he just sounds like the kind of guy I don't ever want to come in contact with. Ever at all. Ever, ever.

SPEAKER_01 31:49

Just wow. I don't even know. It's I don't talk about someone's life. It's interesting that we know this much about someone's life, right?

SPEAKER_02 31:57

Yeah, and but I'm glad it's documented, right? Yeah. So um, we're gonna torture y'all and leave it at that for right now. And if you want to hear about the Amazon review murders, you're gonna have to tune in next week for part two.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Dun dun dun. I feel disgusting doing this, but at the same time, it's a lot of pages.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

It's a lot of pages, and we still have a rock to talk about. Don't feel disgusting doing this. People love part two. People love that shit. Um, anyways, so we have here we have our crystal of the week.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

Isn't it pretty? That looks really familiar. Um doesn't it? It makes like beads, right? You can make beads out of that.

SPEAKER_02 32:46

I don't know what it is. It looks like maybe some kind of opal. I don't it looks like it looks like someone took a chunk of Jupiter and stuck it on this card, right? Okay, it's a little Jupiter rock. Yes. Jupiter's my favorite planet. Jupiter glass. Do you have a favorite planet?

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Probably Neptune.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

So it does. It looks like a little Jupiter stone. It look, it's kind of like a clear yellowy, it has an orangey middle. I don't know if it's orangey because it's thicker there or because that's part of the tone. So I don't know what it is. It's so pretty.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

It reminds me of ocean. Okay, let's see what it is.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

Sunstone! Oh no, it's what that doesn't look like the sunstone I've seen before. Sunstone, it's so pretty. Let's see what it is. Sunstone emanates feel-good vibes of warmth and radiance. The stone's orange and red sparkling light effect, aka spangling, aka adventurescence. Oh, nice. No, it says adventure sense, is a result of copper inclusions reflecting light from within. Okay, that makes sense. So it's usually like an orangey color and it has like these little flecks of like coppery gold flecks all throughout it. It's really pretty. Who needs it? Fellas looking to operate on a higher plane. I'm a fella looking to operate on a higher plane. The vitamin get high. The vitamin D deprived, also me. All solar-powered human beings who do not, in fact, harvest life force by turning up the brightness on their smartphones. Oh, that's literally everyone. That's it says everyone needs this.

unknown 34:24

Everyone needs this.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

Where to put it? Anywhere you're looking for a boost in stamina. First thought. The gym? Sure, bro. Okay. When to use it, whenever it's time to get busy, or when your disposition needs a little sunnying up.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

No, we should give everybody a sunstone for work. We should.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

We're just gonna be giving people rocks every week. Like, here's all the rocks we talked about on the podcast when we were recording on the 13th of Friday 13th. So this one's motto is take back your shine. I'm gonna be honest with you. Every time that I read where to put it, all I want to say is not your asshole.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

It's funny because I want you to. You think meeting.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

Yeah, I'm like, not inside of your body.

SPEAKER_01 35:15

Shove it up, your ass.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

And not in don't don't listen to what Alan is saying.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

It's bad advice. It's because it was sunstone, and people do that whole like sun, sunbathing their buttholes. I was like, put it in your butt.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

Don't put rocks in your butt. That can be dangerous. There are there are there's copper in that rock, which can be very toxic to your body. So please don't put rocks in your butthole or other parts of your body. Don't put rocks in your orfices.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:46

Please, not a good choice. Bad choice. Life warning. I don't care what fucking getting Gwynneth Paltrow says, do not put her eggs in your bajingo. It's not a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

Not a good idea. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

Bad choices were made when she did those things. Don't put especially not quartz. That's not good. Didn't you say was it porous or something? No, because well, it's porous, so it can crack, it can shatter. It could also, like, your body can absorb some of the things that are inside of it that are not good for your body to absorb. Like, it's just dangerous. And don't get me started on those water bottles with crystals in them. No, such a bad job.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

We're lucky that is so toxic.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

Thank God, right? We should cover the radium girls one day. That'd be fun. We should cover the radium girls. That would be that would be a very sad episode, but a fun one to to talk about. Yeah. Oh, that one's a rough one, Nan. A very rough one. It makes me so happy I'm a hairstylist. And then I come in contact with not as bad chemicals.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

People ever used to paint their hair with radium.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

I have no idea. I know that they painted their fingernails with it at the at the factories where they used it as paint. The girls who would the radium girls would paint their fingernails with it, yeah. Their fingers would fall. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty awful. It's a pretty awful thing. So tune in next week. We'll talk about the incidents with Todd Colehep. Just so you know, that whole episode's gonna be a full-blown trigger warning as well. Um because it's rough, but uh their stories need to be heard. So I think that you know the ghost can't talk, but we'll talk for exactly, exactly. So um, yeah, with with that being said, thank you for listening to Conjuring Chaos. Make sure to hit that subscribe button and look us up on the social medias. You can find us on Instagram and TikTok as Conjuring Chaos Podcasts. Please email us your stories so that we can tell them here on the podcast. We want to hear about it all. If it's strange, unusual, unexplained, email us, send it to us, conjuring chaos podcast at gmail.com. We're two witchy weirdos with microphones. And thank you for conjuring chaos with us.