The Loch Ness Monster

In this episode we start off super chaotic. From car issues, to Erica's new podcast (Feel. Heal. Rise. Stories after silence), we really brought the chaos this week. Chase gets a Lafufu, yep that's right, a bootleg Labubu, and still loves it anyways. The real meat and potatoes is our discussion on The Loch Ness Monster. That's right! Aly finally broke Chase down and she let us talk about NESSIE!!! Our crystal of the week is Turquoise, stay chaotic!

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:01

Oh god. Starting conjuring chaos by conjuring some fucking chaos. Just throwing things. Damn it. I think that I'm terrified to start this episode. Why? I don't know. I think it's just because I know that it's gonna be four pieces.

SPEAKER_04 0:35

Welcome to Conjuring Chaos, where three witchy weirdos with microphones. I'm Allie, and these are my co-hosts Chase and Erica. And I know how to fold a fitted sheet.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

And I cannot stop buying perfume. It's a problem.

SPEAKER_05 0:53

And we're here to tell you something weird. Yeah, let's uh let's set the vibe. So, first let's go ahead and take our deep breath in. And out. Did you get deep enough of a breath, Allie?

SPEAKER_04 1:11

Yeah, I mean the compression garment on this thing goes so hard.

SPEAKER_05 1:14

Okay, that's good. I tried to give it a whole extra second of holding my breath for you, so anytime we do that, it's got lungs of steel, I tell you. Normally, like she's breathing in, and I'm like, would you like to pull a finger, Erica?

SPEAKER_03 1:31

Actually, no, no. Alright. Uh, our number is 49. Ooh. And life's a shit show. Dress accordingly.

SPEAKER_05 1:43

Yeah, hey, I like that. Yep, yep. Accuratito. That's that's why I dress like a shit show at the company party.

unknown 1:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:56

I literally, that's I just look like, yep. The goal is to look like a bunch of shit from the forest just came to life. And it did. It was very light in there. No, but I saw your pictures. That's a good point. Very alive. I felt alive. I smelled like moss. What did uh what did you name your snail? Harold. I love Harold. Harry for short. Yep, Harold. I told everyone this is my familiar. His name is Harold. They get so excited. Can I touch your purse? Yes. Uh oh, please do. So what's chaotic in your life, Erica?

SPEAKER_03 2:31

I recently just started recording my own podcast, and I recorded my whole second episode, and then it wasn't recording.

SPEAKER_05 2:40

Oh, oh my god, that is literally a nightmare. Are we recording right now? Yeah, we're recording. I know you hit the I saw you hit the button. That is literally one of my biggest fears with the body. When you're recording, did that not pop up on the screen?

SPEAKER_03 2:53

No, so I'm doing video and audio. Um, and the video camera just like shut off because it died. Oh. But I didn't hear it shut off. Die. Yeah. Because it didn't make the the shutter sound it normally makes. And then I was like, great, I have to redo the whole thing because the audio is not gonna match the video. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:17

Oh, what a nightmare.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:20

What a nightmare. Oh my goodness. Also, shameless plug. Oh yeah. Tell me about your pod your podcast.

SPEAKER_03 3:30

So my podcast is called Heal Feel Rise Stories After Silence. And it is um we take anonymous stories and I read them to give people a voice.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yeah.

unknown 3:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:43

And we talk about healing from different types of traumas.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Yeah, and a boost.

SPEAKER_05 3:49

And a what? Abuse, sorry. Oh, I just said a boost. I was like a boosty what? There wasn't a T. I also thought there was there was not a T. There was not a T.

SPEAKER_04 3:58

No, but um that's definitely a good topic to be like starting to get more comfortable talking about. Because for a long time I feel like people who've dealt with abuse really have had a hard time like speaking about it or um talking to other people.

SPEAKER_05 4:12

So and then and then people like if you when you try to talk about it, people like one don't believe you, two, they kind of like judge you, they look at you differently sometimes, or or they're like, I don't want this trauma dump or whatever, you know, and it's like but then so you end up just like so alone, yeah, so alone with that trauma, and you know, just having a safe place like that to be able to not only like tell your own story but hear someone else's story as well, and know that like there is strength and leaving and there is a lot, it takes a lot, and it's okay if you're stuck in that position for a long ass time because when you get out, you're out, you know.

SPEAKER_03 4:51

Exactly. It's it's built to be a community, and it's not built to be, oh, I'm making a podcast and this is about me. Absolutely not. Like I will eventually put my own stories in there, but it is all about like them, like I do it for them, you know, right? And I want to do it for them. It makes me extremely happy to be able to do that because I used to not have a voice, and I know what it's like to not have a voice.

SPEAKER_05 5:19

Also, give it a listen. It is beautiful. I listened to her first episode, like the day that you said, Hey, here it is. I was like, Okay, we're gonna listen to a next car ride, and it was beautiful. Like, 10 out of 10, highly recommend. Please, if you're listening to us right now, give her a listen. She's also on Spotify.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

I am. Thank you. Yeah, thanks, guys.

unknown 5:40

Please listen.

SPEAKER_04 5:43

So, Chase, what's uh what's been chaotic in your life lately?

SPEAKER_05 5:47

I got naked in a car with a lesbian earlier. I'm not naked, just took my pants off. Um, I'm a bisexual. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's right, that's right.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

By the way, everybody.

SPEAKER_05 6:04

Oh my goodness. It's like halfway through. Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_04 6:10

To pay back off of that c of that uh chaos.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

What's chaotic in here?

SPEAKER_04 6:16

I had my tits up. A Walmart parking lot. No. Um, yeah, no, we were uh we uh Erica had invited us to go get pedicures, so um me and Chase and I went to go find uh fitting attire for pedicures. Yeah, we were wearing like skinny jeans and shit. Yeah, so we changed in the car and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:37

I showed up in skinny jeans. I showed up in skinny jeans down.

SPEAKER_04 6:41

The nice thing is, like, it wasn't the nicest part of the this was the nicest fucking Walmart I have ever fucking been to. I had a whole Reebok section.

SPEAKER_05 6:50

Oh yeah, I was inside like that Walmart and Reebok went into a partnership like a year ago.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

But none of their stores have the setup that they have. I feel like I was looking at some name brand shit that I was like, uh, I don't think I'm supposed to be in this one.

SPEAKER_05 7:07

Ellie says, I'm too brown for this store.

SPEAKER_03 7:11

You found the rich people Walmart.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

I mean it is like, you know. Yeah, it's the it's the area, the demographic.

SPEAKER_05 7:20

I love this dress across the rich white woman dress. It's very cute. It looks very cute on you.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

It's there's either really, really rich people or people that can't afford shit.

SPEAKER_05 7:35

Yeah, that's a good point. Because it is Walmart.

SPEAKER_03 7:38

It is Walmart, but honestly, it looks like the area.

SPEAKER_05 7:41

Reebok and Walmart went to a partnership like a year ago, a year or two ago. But no, I have like actual fucking chaos this week. No, you know what? Two chaoses this week. I have two good chaoses this week. Um, my car's battery keeps going dead. Oh, okay. And my boyfriend had to drive like an hour out of his way to come jump start the fucking car the other day. And I was like, I could literally like walk to AutoZone, get some jumper cables, get a hotel room, and just stay overnight, and then ask like one of my students tomorrow if they will jump my car. And he's like, No, I'm coming up there all grumpy. And so I was like, Okay, fine. And then I found out that, like, so I I've brought this up a couple of times where I'm like, sometimes when I try and turn off the car, the sink doesn't turn off. The like, not the sink. Okay, I was like, what the sink in your house? S-y-n-c. Oh, the sink. So like the radio, but like it's a little more than just the radio system, like a whole computer system. Yeah, it's like the car's personality, you know, it's the Jarvis of the car. So like my Jarvis uh doesn't my Jarvis not working. No, it's the opposite. It works too long and it it drains the battery and then it makes the battery go dead. And it's happened to me. This is now the second time this has happened to me.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

Well, the crazy thing is you're driving this car because the last car you got kept giving you issues where it would stall or not.

SPEAKER_05 9:02

And he would have to come pick me up. Yeah, and now this one's doing the same thing. Yeah, and I was like, so we are supposed to do a hard reset on the radio, but the problem is, is like the screen has squished itself to like a quarter of the fucking screen, so you can barely read it. So I can't actually do a hard reset on it. So I bought a this set of jumper cables, and I guess I'm just gonna become a pro at that and you know, hope that there's always a nice enough person near me and just be glad that I keep two giant knives in here.

SPEAKER_04 9:33

Your charisma is set so high that you can approach someone and ask them, and they will give you the world.

SPEAKER_05 9:37

Exactly. As long as it's not like, you know, Ted Bundy or Ted Bundy, the fucking clown, or someone somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

My car broke down. I ran. I was in a top that kind of showed my boobs, and a guy ran by and I was like, oh my god, a guy. Okay, I need help. And so I run, but I do the like run where your boobies bounce, you know. Oh my god, what's it called? The bay watch? The bay wash run! I I did, and I like walked up to him and I was like, I need help.

SPEAKER_05 10:10

Flip's hairdic.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

And he was like, Oh yeah, of course. And I was like, heck yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:17

Okay, so then my other chaos is that they brought another labu-boo. I was gonna start eating that. Please don't. But it came in a bag instead of a box, and I'm hoping that it's the chocolate in there. Tiki talk it. It also looks like it could possibly be like bootleg. Okay, Erica said I had to take you talk it. So no laboo boo. It's in a bag instead of a box, which kind of freaks me out. I think it's bootlegged. But no way. No way.

SPEAKER_04 10:55

Oh yay!

SPEAKER_05 10:58

He's so cute. Look at his little fighty rainbows. I don't know what sounds they make. They're just cute. Oh my god. He's so cute.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 11:12

So I know you're gonna love him either way.

SPEAKER_05 11:16

What?

SPEAKER_04 11:17

But he definitely looks different than the other one.

SPEAKER_05 11:19

Right, a little bit. Let me see. He does look kind of funny, huh?

SPEAKER_04 11:23

The thing that throws me off is the color on the teeth are uh already coming off.

SPEAKER_05 11:27

Are they? Oh and they're crooked. But it's okay.

SPEAKER_04 11:31

It's okay. Also, it doesn't come with a little clip like the other one did.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Oh, yeah, it did.

SPEAKER_05 11:38

Okay, here we go. But the clip is different. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

And didn't the other one have a pop mark tag?

SPEAKER_05 11:43

I don't remember. That says pop mapped. Mabbed. So it is bootleg.

SPEAKER_04 11:49

It's a lefufu.

SPEAKER_05 11:50

It's a lafufu. Okay, that's what's chaotic this week, is we got a lefufu. I don't think he's got pupils either. That's the other thing that was bothering me. Um, so is it time to get chaotic? I think it's time to get chaotic. So that's also part of my freaking chaos this week is that I was like, so what episode do we want to do, Allie? I have some last meals of notorious people left. I have president last meals, I have some listener stories. And she goes, I want to do the Loch Ness monster. Yeah, she's been sitting on it for like two months. I spent so much time doing this research, and I think the reason why is because I'm like super nervous about it. It's 20 freaking pages, guys. So it's gonna be like 20? Yes. Oh. So it's gonna be like four episodes. This will be episode number one. This will be number one. I don't know if they're gonna be back to back episodes. We should do the back-to-back episode.

SPEAKER_04 12:47

It's not gonna be the most sense. To be continued, other than no, no.

SPEAKER_05 12:52

Well, yeah, it's like but a normal to be continued, not like a for another time. No, we want them to learn everything about the black vest monster. Are you sure? Because we can tell we can totally do for another time. Let's not do that because I would be pissed beyond belief if one of my favorite podcasts did that. I'd be like, I'm not listening until you do parts two, three, and four. And I would literally wait until four was out to listen to even the first one. Just like I'd be like, Well, I'm done listening to that episode right now, then I'll listen to Zach and Donald on Fake Doctor's Real Friends. So, yeah, no, we gotta do them all in a row. There are a lot of pictures. Show you the first two pages, don't have pictures, but there are a lot of pictures within the 20 pages. Um, and for the first five, there's actually two videos. So it could end up being three episodes because there's a few pages that are like almost all picture.

SPEAKER_04 13:49

You guys stop listening to the Mach Nest Monster for the next five episodes.

SPEAKER_05 13:54

No, no, what we went from four to three to five, somewhere between three and four, probably three because there are like several pages that are all picture. 27. Oh, we should just do like one episode per page. That would be not a good idea. Okay, okay, so Loch Nast Monster. Alright, what's on page one? Should I tell y'all that I was a believer until I finished this research? So get ready for some cynicism. Cynical is I don't fucking know. Listen, it's been a long time.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

Cynicism. No.

SPEAKER_05 14:36

Criticism.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

I was like, sounds like you're sinning. Cynicism. Cynicalism. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 14:46

Sinning with Tism.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

Comments. I'm daddy's doing that. No, I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_05 14:52

Okay, so Loch Ness monter. Uh, this is a mythical creature in Scottish folklore. If you didn't know. I didn't know it was Scottish. It said that it inhabits Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. And Loch is a Scottish or Gaelic term for lake or sea inlet. So basically, like either like where the sea comes in and turns into a lake or uh just a lake itself. So it's literally just a lake. Loch just means a lake. So the loch is said to be about 22 miles long and is around 433 feet deep. And its most extreme depth sits at around 745 feet. Uh just so you know, a lot of these I did the conversions. My phone's great. I said, what is this in feed? Because we are Americans, which means we are uncultured swine. Yeah, no, it's yeah, but I have no excuses for why I'm good at that. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_05 16:05

What no excuses? No excuses. So the Lotus Monster is described as a large animal around 20 feet long with a long neck and a tail that has spines and with one or more humps that protrude from the water. And it's also described kind of looking like a sea serpent or a plesiosaur and having like a reptilian nature to it. I just want to see that in a source.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

Reptilian shapeshifter.

SPEAKER_05 16:37

Right? Okay. But hear me out.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

The Loch Ness monster is a reptilian shapeshifter.

SPEAKER_05 16:44

Hear me out.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 16:46

Maybe I'm not a skeptic again.

SPEAKER_04 16:50

So my the thing that I always got bothered by, I was like, where like does the Loch Ness monster travel around the world? Or because I know other people have said that they've seen them in like other places. There's a lot of things. Is it just one Lochness monster? Is there like a Lochness monster family group? Is it part of the chain?

SPEAKER_05 17:08

Do they go through those underground tunnels from the Godzilla movies?

SPEAKER_04 17:11

Do they make the underground tunnels?

SPEAKER_05 17:14

Right. See, but I hear you. I don't have answers in this entire report though. Okay. However, it it really did give me like beliefs about certain like it changed the way that I think about Nessie.

SPEAKER_04 17:25

I've always wanted to be a scuba diver so I can see what's at the bottom of the ocean.

SPEAKER_05 17:29

Um, I don't think I'm gonna find anything cool, but I think it would be nice. I mean the Titanics down there. Right. If I can go visit the Titanic, that'd be cool. You wanna know something that kind of freaks me out a little bit? What? There's still water in the pool on the Titanic. I don't know why it freaks me out so much, but it just does. It makes me nervous because we're going on a cruise in October. I really need you my mask.

SPEAKER_04 17:52

Is there like uh water from the like pool water, or it's like no no no, it's definitely underground, right? It's because it's in the ocean. Yeah, in the ocean.

SPEAKER_05 18:00

It's stupid because of course there is fucking water.

SPEAKER_04 18:02

Yeah, okay, that's what I was thinking. I was like, wait a minute, is it one of those Spongebob things where there was like water inside water?

SPEAKER_05 18:09

Okay, that shit tripped my grandma out so bad when I was a kid. She would watch SpongeBob with us and just rant and rave about how inaccurate it was. And when they had a fire underwater, oh my god. That woman is usually an absolute starshine of beautiful and like positivity, but she just fucking lost it. Like, I never heard her curse until she saw the episode where they have fire under the water. Yeah, it was she was like, I hate this stupid show. Okay, grandma, you don't hate me. So popular interest and belief in the creature has varied since it was brought to worldwide attention in 1934. That's almost a hundred years ago. Yeah. No, that is over a hundred years ago, no? No, it's eight years away from being a hundred years. However, you're gonna find out that it was the year before that the first photograph was taken. So what? Yep. So evidence of existence is purely anecdote anecdotal, and that right there you will see throughout this entire next few episodes. To be honest with you, like it's very anecdotal. So there's a number of disputed photographs and sonar readings. This is just like a quick synopsis. There's a number of disputed photographs and sonar readings that have been claimed as quote proof of Nessie. Okay, yes, I do have some of those in this in here. So the first sighting was in the 7th century AD, documented in a book called Life of Saint Columbia, written by Adominian, a century after the event transpired. And please forgive me if I pronounce that incorrectly. It is A-D-O-M-N-I-A-N. A Dominion? Mm-hmm. That's what it looks like. It sounds like so. It tells of an Irish monk, Saint Columbia, who was staying in the land of the pigs with his companions when they encountered some residents burying a man by the river Ness. When asked, they explained that the man was swimming in the river when he was attacked by a water beast that attacked him and dragged him underwater. They had tried to rescue him by boat, and St. Columbia sent a follower. Oh my gosh. Luigi? I'm kidding. It looks like Luigi. Luigi. On Google. How do you think? Listen, I never promised anybody I was good at English. That's not English. So if I'm not good at English, don't expect me to be good at pronouncing names that are definitely not English. Lunya Makumin took swim across the river. When the beast approached the man, Saint Columbia made the sign of the cross and said, Go no further. Do not touch the man, go back at once. The creature stopped immediately as if it had been pulled back with ropes and fled the area. Saint Columbia's men and the pigs gave f gave thanks that they had perceived this as they had perceived this as a miracle. A miracle? Because he shouted at it to go away and it went away. Huh. I mean it's it is.

SPEAKER_04 21:31

If I yell at birds, they go away.

SPEAKER_05 21:33

Yeah, he probably just scared it. I mean, think about this, okay? Geese are fucking crazy. They have long ass serpenty necks, and if it attacked a man, uh, it could definitely drag him underwater. Geese are huge. And they're terrifying. And if you yell at it, maybe it will go away. Have you seen the movie Hoppers? Mm mm. God damn it. People have geese's Guard dogs. Yes. Geese are cool. Um they have human teeth. Goose ate one of my shrooms one time.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

I was at a party. No. Oh that he was tripping out.

SPEAKER_04 22:13

It seemed like he honked at all the other goose to get out of the pond. And then afterwards he was the only one just floating around in the pond. I had dubbed him King Goose. You should have made him a crown of thorns. I wanted to.

SPEAKER_05 22:27

Or even better, a crown of dandelions.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

Well, okay, so the crazy thing is in the movie Hoppers, there's this uh group of animals that are like to whatever they reign over like sort of and there was King Goose. Oh my goodness. I swear to God, he went from that pond into that movie.

SPEAKER_05 22:48

Teleportation, materialization. Okay, first photograph of Nessie was taken in 1933, but wasn't published until 1934. So Ali, would you like to tell us some of the folklore and about some sightings?

SPEAKER_04 23:06

The forklore. Folklar.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Foreclosed.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

Current beliefs in lake monsters like the Loch Ness monster are associated with kelpie. Kelpie. I like kelpie. I like kelpie. Kalepie? I don't like kale pie. I don't like kale at all. But they're associated with the kelpie legends. Accounts of water monsters have changed quite a bit over time. They were originally described as horse-like creatures and were intended to keep children away from wandering into the water alone. The Kelpie legends have developed into descriptions reflecting a modern description of plesiosaurus.

SPEAKER_05 23:50

Yeah, those are the water ones with the fins. Whoop whoop.

SPEAKER_04 23:53

I like those used to be one of my favorite ones. They're very cute. They are cute. The only water monster I want to see is the Leviathan. The what? Wait. The Leviathan.

SPEAKER_05 24:05

I'm not sure if that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_04 24:06

I thought it right. It's the big serpent that lives in the ocean.

SPEAKER_05 24:10

Um. Why would you want to see the great giant serpent that kills people and stuff?

SPEAKER_04 24:18

Who wouldn't want to see that? Yeah, Leviathan. He's part of the ocean. Leviathan is a great sea serpent, noted in theology and mythology. Referenced in the Hebrew Bible as a metaphor for a powerful enemy, notably Babylon. It is referred to in Psalms of the Book of Job and the Book of Isaiah and the Book of Enoch. So I would like to be see big. Yeah. That sounds horrifying. Anyways, to continue. A study was done of pre-1933 Highland folklore that ref references kelpies, water horses, and water bulls. Bulls. Bull? Yeah, like. Yeah, I know, like bull. I'm just making it. It sounds weird. I've never I haven't said that word in a long, like for anything. Um, and it's just weird for it coming out of my mouth.

unknown 25:04

Huh?

SPEAKER_04 25:06

You know how you say something and it just like it does it feel like a real word.

SPEAKER_05 25:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:11

But yeah, so there's references of kelpies, water horses, and water bulls. It was was the lock that was most frequently mentioned in the lore. Lake Ness is what it says. Essentially. Sightings. In October 1871 or 1872. It's debated. Debated. Debatable. D. Mackenzie of Belane reportedly saw an object resembling a log or an upturned boat, wriggling and churning up the water, is quoted. And moving slowly at first before appearing in the faster before disappearing at a faster speed. The account was not published until 1934, when Mackenzie sent his story in a letter to Rupert Gold shortly after Nessie's rise in popularity.

SPEAKER_05 26:00

Sixty two years later. Sixty two. No. Yes. Hold on. 28 plus 34. Yeah. 62 years. It took them 62 years to publish that story. Sorry, I'm just like getting really turned up about this. I'm like, there's just something, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 26:24

I think when stories like this are put into like publishing, a lot of the times if it's like for the news or something, they want to read it and they're gonna be like, we're not gonna publish this until they have like there's nothing else to publish. And they're like, what do we have on the back end? Like, oh look, here's something from eight decades ago. Oh you know, the mysterious thing that was eating your children.

SPEAKER_05 26:44

We now have at tonight at nine. Why you should stop drinking all tap water immediately so you don't die. It's 3 p.m.

SPEAKER_04 27:00

In 1888, going back in time, Mason Alexander McDonald of Abra Abracan. It looks like Abracan Abracan reportedly sighted a large stubby-legged animal surfacing from the lock and propelling itself within 50 yards of where McDonald stood on the shore. There was a McDonald's back then.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Like, oh, he went into the McDonald's. He was just hopping.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

He reported the sighting to Lochness Water Bailiff, Alex Campbell. He described what he saw as looking like a salamander. Salamanders are tiny, no?

SPEAKER_05 27:43

But I mean he could say it was like a giant-looking one, you know.

SPEAKER_04 27:46

A very big salamander. On the 2nd of May 1933, in the Inverness Courier. An article by Alex Campbell, previously mentioned water bailiff of Lochness and part-time journalist. That's cool. That's cool that he's two people in this storm, right? Um, but that's where it was printed. The Inverness Courier was uh the article, right? Or I guess it sounds like newspaper.

SPEAKER_05 28:19

Oh yeah, the Inverness Courier. That's the name of the um the print.

SPEAKER_04 28:24

But it followed Aldi McKay and her alleged sighting of an enormous creature with the body of a whale rolling in the water in the lock while she and her husband John were driving on the A82 on April 15th, 1933. The following is an excerpt from that article.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

The creature I read deported itself.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

I can't with you right now.

SPEAKER_03 28:55

The creature disported itself, rolling and plunging for a full minute, its body resembling that of a whale and the water cascading and churning like a shimmering cauldron. Soon, however, it disappeared in a boiling mass of foam. Both onlookers confused that there was something uncanny about the whole thing, for they realized here was no ordinary denizen of the depths. Say that five times fast.

SPEAKER_05 29:26

No thanks.

SPEAKER_03 29:27

Because apart from this enormous size, the beast in taking the full plunge sent out waves that were big enough were big enough to have been caused by a passing steamer.

SPEAKER_04 29:38

I think I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

Whatever a steamer is. I think it's a steamboat.

SPEAKER_04 29:42

I thought it was a hot shit. I mean I don't know who's taking hot shits in Loch Ness, but on July 22nd, 1933, a George Spicer and his wife saw a most extraordinary form of animal crossing the road in front of their car. They described it as being four feet tall and twenty five feet long with a large body, with a high back and a long, wavy, narrow neck, slightly thicker than an elephant's trunk. I didn't realize that Nessie was so short.

SPEAKER_05 30:13

Um I think it's different every time someone sees it. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 30:18

It lurched across the road toward the lock about 20 yards away, leaving a trail of broken undergrowth behind it, and they believed it had an animal in its mouth. So it was eating. The sighting has been proven to be a fabrication. Um it's unfortunate.

SPEAKER_05 30:36

Alright, I have why did the picture go to jail? It was framed. Thank you. Thank you to our live studio audience for the support. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

That was a good one. I I enjoyed that. I got way too excited because I was like racking in my brain. I was like, why? Why did this happen? And then I thought I was like, picture, there's something about picture and jails that go together. And it was in, I was like, box, they were in a cage that we're in, and then I was like, oh right. The famous sighting, Hugh Gray's photograph was taken near Foyers on November 12th, 1933. It was the first alleged photograph of Nessie. Gray had taken his labrador for a walk that day, and it is strongly suspected that the photograph is actually of his dog fetching a stick from the log. That is great. I love that. Others have suggested that the photo is of an otter or a swan. The original negative was lost. Later on in 1963, Maurice Burton came into possession of two contact positives from the original negative. It said when prod when projected onto the screen, they revealed an otter rolling on at the surface. Okay, so it was an otter. Is the picture up there?

SPEAKER_05 32:02

The picture's up there.

SPEAKER_04 32:04

Oh, it was it's too fucking blurry to see what that is.

SPEAKER_05 32:07

Super blurry. I think like that's its head, and this is belly, and there's its feet, and it's like rolling in the picture. Erica, would you like to look at these pictures? They also thought that it looked like a Labrador hoarding a tr a stick. Do you see it? Stick, nose, eyes, dog ear, snout.

SPEAKER_04 32:26

I have a hard time with that.

SPEAKER_05 32:27

Oh yeah, because you don't have you have dyspraxia. Not dyspraxia. Not dyspraxia. You have aphantasia.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

Yeah, I can't imagine very much.

SPEAKER_05 32:38

See it? No, I don't. It looks like a like a yellow lab holding a stick to me.

SPEAKER_03 32:44

We need this in 4K. Anyway, um, on January 5th, 1934, at about 1 a.m. on a moonlit night, motorcyclist and veterinary student Arthur Grant claimed to have nearly hit the creature while approaching near the northeastern end of the lock. He described it as having a small head attached to a long neck. When the creature saw him, it retreated back to the other side of the lock. Grant described it as a cross between a seal and a plesiosaurus. He said he got off his motorcycle and followed it to the lock, but only saw ripples after his initial sighting.

SPEAKER_04 33:30

But so similar at the same time. I think it was around that time where everybody was like, I saw this.

SPEAKER_03 33:35

It's like they say that whenever the police ask the public for help, people will just say stuff to say stuff. I feel like it's the same type of thing.

SPEAKER_05 33:44

Yeah, especially when it's something like this. They want to be cool. This is a sketch that um Arthur Grant made of this creature that he said he almost hit.

SPEAKER_03 33:55

It looks so fake.

SPEAKER_05 33:56

It looks straight up like a brontosaurus. It does.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

It looks like um what is it?

SPEAKER_05 34:02

It looks like a fat brontosaurus. She took.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

What is that dinosaur movie?

SPEAKER_05 34:07

Um Land Before Time.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:11

It's Littlefoot's pair. Yeah. Short legs and big booty.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

On April 20th, 1934, multiple British newspapers reported Robert Keith Wilson's claimed to have seen the monster while driving near Lochness the day before. He described the monster as having a small head and a swan-like neck protruding three feet above the surface of the water.

SPEAKER_05 34:36

Okay, so that one's only three feet. Whereas others have said it's much taller than that.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

He's on his knees.

SPEAKER_05 34:44

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

Um, the following day, April 21st, the Daily Mail announced its purchase exclusive rights to a photo attributed to Wilson, along with an interview with him where they discussed his remarkable luck in being able to secure such a photograph. I don't know how I feel about this. Wilson said he was looking at the lock when he saw the monster, grabbed his camera, and snapped four photos. Only two came out clearly. The first reportedly shows a small head and a back, the second shows a similar head in a diving position. But is much blurrier. For sixty years, the photo was considered evidence of the monster's existence, with skeptics claiming it's driftwood. An elephant, an otter, or a bird. It's a lot of different things.

SPEAKER_04 35:39

Yeah. Yep. I can see why you became a skeptic.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

I can see a bird.

SPEAKER_05 35:44

Yeah, and I also it also looks like someone's hand. It also does look like it could be an elephant's trunk, where that's like the open part at the end where they pick up stuff with it.

SPEAKER_03 35:56

I don't know if I see that one.

SPEAKER_05 35:58

I didn't at first, but now I do from this angle.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

The creature was reportedly a toy submarine. Uh um, sorry, disappointed. Right. Built by Christian Sperling and MA Weatherfill. Weatherfill created this hoax with co-conspirators Ian Collin Marmaduke.

SPEAKER_05 36:20

What a name. Weatherall.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Weatherall.

SPEAKER_05 36:23

What a nameaduke. Ian Collin Marmaduke Weatherell. That is such a long name. That man definitely wears an ascot. Alright.

unknown 36:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Anne Maurice. Sorry. Anne Maurice Chambers. The toy submarine was bought from FW Woolworth. These names they're fake. Its head and neck were made from wood putty. After testing it in a local pond, the group went to Lochness, where Ian Marmaduke Weatherall took the photos near the Altsey tea house. They had heard a water bliff.

SPEAKER_05 37:05

Bailiff.

SPEAKER_03 37:06

Oh oh. A water bliff.

SPEAKER_05 37:08

I almost read it the same way when I first read it. Bliff. I have like a bliff right now. A glyph.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

They heard a water bailiff approaching. Weatherall sank the model with his foot, and it is supposedly still somewhere in Lochness.

SPEAKER_05 37:24

There you go, Allie. You can scuba dive and find the Lochness submarine thing.

SPEAKER_03 37:30

Chambers gave the photographic plates to Wilson, who brought the plates to Oxton's, an Ivernist chemist, and gave them to George Morrison to be developed.

SPEAKER_05 37:42

That's the first normal fucking name in this entire part of this story.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

The only one I've been able to read as easily without going, huh?

SPEAKER_05 37:50

Is this fake?

SPEAKER_03 37:52

Right. He sold the first photo to the Daily Mail who announced that the monster had been photographed.

SPEAKER_05 38:00

Yeah, and then this it's literally like the famous Nessie photograph. On May 29th, 1938, a South African tourist G. E. Taylor filmed something in the lock on 16mm colored film for three minutes. The film was obtained by a well-known science writer, Maurice Burton, who did not share it with any other researchers. Okay. Red flag number one. A single frame was published in his book, The Elusive Monster. In his analysis, he concluded it was a floating object, not an animal of any sort. This is the single frame that they published in the book.

SPEAKER_04 38:44

That could be fucking anything.

SPEAKER_05 38:45

Literally anything. It looks like it looks like a piece of rock popping up out of the top. Like literally. It's just a dead body. I mean, that also belongs on this podcast, so. Alright, so there were some sonar readings that were taken by the fish vote, fish vote, fishing boat rival three in December of 1954. The crew on board that day noted that there was a large object keeping the same pace as the boat at a depth of 146 meters, which is 479 feet for our uncultured American listeners like us. It was detected for about 800 meters. Again, for an American, that's 2,600 feet, so about a half a mile. Before it disappeared from their sonar. It's interesting to note that previous sonar attempts were inconclusive or negative when looking for the creature.

SPEAKER_04 39:43

See, I always like um I like stories with sonar sightings or so like when they pick shit up in the ocean where they're like, there was nothing there.

SPEAKER_05 39:51

I know, right? What made that noise? They're talking about sonars that they use to create photos. Oh. And and images. Yep. Why am I getting everything wrong? It's okay. You're thinking about whale sonar. Yeah. Uh-huh. So on April 23rd of 1960, that was right before my dad was born, literally two months, aeronautical engineer Tim Dinsdale. Not to be confused with the Doug Dimodone from Dinsdale, filmed what he believed was a dark hump that left a wake crossing the lock. Dinsdale reported he had the sighting on his final day of search, and he described it as a mahogany red with a blotch on its side when he viewed it through his binoculars. When he mounted his camera, the object began to move, so he shot 40 feet of film. And according to Joint Air Reconnaissance Intelligence Center, J-A-R-I-C, they analyzed the film and came to a conclusion that the object was, quote, probably animate, meaning alive. Dinsdale continued to try to find the lock nest monster, and he claimed to have had more sightings, but was unable to capture any more photographic evidence. So, quickly, right here, friends, I have said footage. This is the footage.

SPEAKER_04 41:16

I love old timing photos.

SPEAKER_05 41:17

That just looks like someone swimming in the water. Right? It could literally be like a duck. I'm not sure that I believe this is Loch Ness Monster. I mean, like, there's that shadow looking behind it, but that could literally be because of the window.

SPEAKER_04 41:31

It looks like it's wearing a yarmulca.

SPEAKER_05 41:35

You can see it that well? Just looks like it has a little hat there. A little hat. I thought that was the head of it.

SPEAKER_04 41:43

But yeah, that's the That's an oil spill. That's an oil spill.

SPEAKER_05 41:47

So that was the uh the footage from that siding. And then on the 26th of May in 2007, so 19 years ago, literally, pretty close to it, almost like three weeks, two weeks ago is literally 19 years ago, 55-year-old laboratory technician Gordon Holmes videotaped what he said was this jet black thing about 14 meters long, that's 46 feet, moving fairly fast in the water. Lawness monster hunters and enthusiasts described it as some of the quote best footage ever seen. A marine biologist named Adrian Schein at the Lautness 2000 Center in Drumnadrochit drumnadrochit ch I T suggested the footage was possible of an otter, seal, or water bird. Water bird. Okay, so we have to start this one at one minute and 51 seconds. Here you go. There it is. I think it's an otter or a seal.

SPEAKER_03 43:04

It could be, I think it looks like a snake.

SPEAKER_05 43:08

You can't tell the size or anything. I think that that was it, just that little bit of footage. I don't think there's more anymore. You can't tell if it's under the water or not. It looks like a snake that's just like living its best life. It does. It does. So that's it for the Lawnist Monster for now. For now. We have at least two more episodes. Um my sources are TetraZoology, Wikipedia, and National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. And um yeah, we have a rock for y'all now. This looks like turquoise. Yeah, that does look like turquoise.

SPEAKER_03 43:48

It also looks like dyed how light.

SPEAKER_05 43:51

Like, well, if you look very carefully, you can see like the dark, you can see that the the impressions are lighter, so it's you know. It's not dyed because the dye would sit in those areas.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 44:03

So turquoise. Turquoise. Sorry, I'm trying to be, I'm gonna try. I'm trying to be Ally and pronounce things wrong. I'm just kidding. What is it? Brilliant blue-green turquoise has been rocked by humans longer than almost anything since like 5000 BCE. What's the E mean? Anyways, turquoise is, was, and always will be both go-to protector and fashion statement. Who needs it? Anyone whose voice has gone a wall. So everyone who is on Erica's new podcast needs turquoise.

SPEAKER_03 44:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:39

Also, BC. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 44:41

Eventually I could do little gift bags for the colour. Before common hero.

SPEAKER_04 44:46

Oh! You have turquoise?

SPEAKER_03 44:48

No, I'm gonna source it.

SPEAKER_04 44:51

You can?

SPEAKER_05 44:52

I have a crystal top.

SPEAKER_04 44:53

Oh, I thought you had a turquoise mine.

SPEAKER_05 44:55

No in Mexico.

SPEAKER_04 44:57

That's what I thought!

SPEAKER_05 44:59

I was like, man, it's fancy! So where to put it? Not your ass. And sterling silver rings, big old belt buckles, and bolo ties. So country folks. On the podium, open mic night, and wherever else you need to speak up or speak out. Okay, so I just need it all the time.

SPEAKER_04 45:24

When I don't think you have trouble speaking.

unknown 45:27

I don't.

SPEAKER_05 45:28

I don't. When to use it. When you feel disconnected from the things that make you human. When you've got something to express, get it out with turquoise. And then the motto for this stone is speak your truth.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 45:42

See, I told you.

SPEAKER_03 45:44

That does work with the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 45:46

So this is an encouragement. Speak your truth on Erica's podcast. Mention it again, then I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 45:51

Heel feel rise stories after silence. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 45:55

Spotify, iHeart, Podbean, all of the all of the big ones.

SPEAKER_03 46:01

The video version is on YouTube.

SPEAKER_05 46:03

YouTube. Then you can see her beautiful face. Yep. Also, uh go on to the pod radar and give us a vote. It is free to set up an account. Um when you're on the Google confirmation screen, if you can't find the continue, just scroll up a little bit. It gets hidden underneath your home button by accident. And it is free for an account. You can find all kinds of great podcasts on there, but give us a little thumbs up vote for Conjuring Chaos because we are putting the Todd Coleb story that we posted like a month, month and a half ago, is gonna be on there. And we would really like to hit number one. And if we hit number one, I will let Ali pie me in the face and we'll post it on our Tiki Talk. So yeah, I'm actually super scared now that we're gonna hit number one because I don't want to pie in my face. Listen, there's enough, there's enough accusations going on in our friend group.

SPEAKER_04 47:05

We don't need any more.

SPEAKER_05 47:06

We don't need even more, okay. We don't need proof, okay? We don't need proof. Yeah, we don't need proof. But alright. I think I've already okay. No, no, no, that's that's a fact. If you also are gassy, we have stickers that say gassy bitch classy, which if you hop on TikTok and send me a message, I will send you one. So uh yeah, I think I think that's all we have to say for today. That's good.

SPEAKER_04 47:34

That's good.

SPEAKER_05 47:35

I feel like that was some good information about like Lochness Monster. That was really fun. Thank you for doing that research.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:40

I don't remember any of the stuff that's in there. I just know that we have 15 more pages of information about the Loch Ness Monster.

SPEAKER_04 47:49

So that being said, thank you for listening to Conjuring Chaos. Make sure to hit that subscribe button and look us up on the social medias.

SPEAKER_05 47:56

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok as Conjuring Chaos Podcast. Please email us your stories so we can tell them on the podcast. No matter how big, small, how weird, or how plain you might think they are, we definitely want to hear them and we would really appreciate getting the chance to read them on the podcast. Um, we know that there's a lot of people out there who think they're crazy for these experiences, and we absolutely want to support everyone and make sure that you know this is something that's comfortable to talk about out there. So all of your stories, conjuring chaos podcast at gmail.com. We're three witchy weirdos with microphones, and thank you for conjuring chaos with us.