The Loch Ness Monster Part 3

We are ALMOST finished with telling you everything to know about Nessie, we promise... but we do still have one more episode after this one. We start off with a quick recap and some DNA findings of the loch. Then we go on to discuss 8 of the many hoaxes that revolve around Nessie, don't worry we will discuss the rest next week. Our corny joke is an absolute DUUUZY this week, well, Aly and I liked it, and our crystal of the week is Bloodstone. Stay Chaotic!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_03 0:50

And this is my co-host, James. And my dog thinks he's a devil. And we're here to tell you something weird. Let's set the side. Let's go ahead and take our deep breath in. And out. Alright. Allie, you want to pull a finger? Hell yeah. Fingers up or fucks down. All the way down. Onto the ground. All the way down. Below the ground. Bury that fuck. I like this number. It's a nice number. What is it? It's number 15. Nice.

unknown 1:28

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

Good and clean. Good and clean. And today's bass affirmation states, I am more than enough. Always have been, always will be. I think you need this one. I do. I do. She's like, tape it to your forehead. Make a copy. Reverse it. Tattoo it on the forehead so that when you look in the mirror every morning, yeah, you're right. Yep. I'm telling you that. Sorry. I'm telling you the universe knew what it was doing with that affirmation. It knew what the fuck was up right there. It said, This bitch needs this shit.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Man.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

So I mean, since you're starting off with that. What's going on in your life right now? Oh, okay. Let's see. Um, well, first of all, I literally drove up here just to record and then drive back home. Which I appreciate it. You don't have to drive back home. I think you can just stay here. Honestly, like, I was I do have to drive back home though, because I have to be at the training center in the morning and my dog has to be let out and I don't want to drive with it. Yeah. But it's all good though, because like, even though it's an hour and 45, it's actually only an hour and 45 minutes with how I drive.

unknown 2:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:49

But with that time, I uh well, when traffic's bad, it's actually a solid two hours. But, anyways, beside the point, it gives me a chance to binge Mr. Ballin's podcast because they're posting like four fucking episodes a week now. And I am not caught up still because he has like 8,000 episodes. So there's always gonna be something for me to listen to. Hell yeah. Oh, he's my favorite like nighttime listen to stories. Yeah. That's great. The they do good research. And one of my favorite parts is at the very end when they just start listing off the names of everyone involved. I'm like, where the fuck do they find these people? They have some crazy ass names sometimes. There's someone that was at one point on there whose name was Matabzair. I will never forget that name. Right now there's someone called Steven Ear. And I don't know if it's Steve Veneer or Steven Ear or Steve Anir. There's too many variants. There's too many options. But, anyways, yeah, that's that's a little bit of the chaos in my life. Also, I'm gonna be doing my second boot camp in a month. Okay. This literally tomorrow. So that's fun. Still need to print all of the shit for it because my printer's jacking up. I'm glad you guys know this is not the military. Not that yeah, not that kind of boot camp. But yeah, I'm also I'm I'm excited about that. That's like my favorite part of my job is doing boot camp. So I'm glad you guys keep it on your um your tasks. Me too. Um, because that first they wanted me to give it up, and then when we tried that, it was very obvious that that was probably not the best choice. So what we want to make sure is in there is definitely in there. Like we know for a fact that I know how to deliver that information the way that needs to be delivered. Whereas when someone who's doing it isn't a manager and doesn't understand that stuff or doesn't know like all of the nitty-gritty behind it, then they can't really deliver it the way that we want it delivered. So, you know, kind of stuff like that. But yeah, what's uh what's chaotic in your life? Uh I keep peeing way too much for a normal horse. Oh. Yeah. Have you been drinking a lot of water? No. Yeah, I uh I probably actually have to look for a doctor pretty soon. Yeah, that's usually it's a sign of like diabetes, so no way. Um it can be. There's too many signs of everything. There says cancer, one says UTI, one says diabetes. Well, the last two. I don't know. The last two are more common, just so you know. That scary one is way less common for it to be more pea, just so you know. More common for that to be a result of less, or not a cause of less. So hopefully that eases you a little bit. It does a little bit. I don't know. I just have to it uh I hate having to go to doctors, and I've been putting it off for so freaking long. While you're lecturing me about going to the doctor, right? Um, so hopefully this motivates me to do nothing. Your health is important. Guys, your health is important. Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. Take you from two bitches who aren't good at going to the doctor. That's the thing, is people in our age range typically have a hard time. You want to know why? Because we were raised by fucking Gen Xers who all like rolled down the hills and hit their heads on rocks and shit, and their parents were like, oh no, I'm just spit, spit dirt it, spit derby. And so growing up, they're like, brush it off, brush it off. And so that's what we learn to do. And that's what's wrong with us, Allie. Yeah, yeah. No, the one thing that I realize now is that some of the stuff you have to pay for doctors, if you have an insurance somewhere, I mean it's a pain in the ass to get insurance, and some of them are pretty funny person. But if you have it, take advantage. Yeah, fucking take it. If you're a work officer or something, you take advantage of that shit all you can because it it really does the trick. Um trick. Yeah, so that's been that's been what I'm dealing with right now is my chaos. So just go to the doctor. But yeah, that's why we don't go to the doctor, because trauma temperational trauma. Oh, wait, wait, no. Parental trauma. There we go. So now that we've talked about our chaos, why don't you remind us of our chaos from last week? Not our personal chaos, but the show's chaos. So I don't know if y'all remember or not, but we've been talking about Nessie, the monster of Loch Ness. So uh if you remember, Loch Ness is a lake in Scotland. It means Lake Ness. It literally means lake, Loch means lake, and Ness is just the name of the lake. Um, and Nessie is believed to be a sea serpent-like creature or a plesiosaur. And um there's been a lot of very similar yet somewhat different descriptions of Nessie, sometimes with a spiked tail, sometimes without, sometimes with legs, sometimes with flippers, sometimes with humps, sometimes not. Um, but what we do know is that there's been lots of different sightings and lots of expeditions looking for her, him, it, they, them. Listen, we're all inclusive on conjuring chaos, okay? It's the last few days of Pride Month right now. It really is. So, you know, we need to be respectful. And so there's been lots of uh photographs taken, and some are more believable than others. Some look like a dog with a stick or a line or a wave, and some look like a TV prop. Um, there's been some sonars, there's been some videos. Most of the videos look like a wave. Honestly, if we're being completely truthful here. Allie, you can vouch for that. You saw that. Yeah, yeah. Everything that we have seen so far has been very disappointing. Yeah. Uh one picture literally looks like a giant catfish. Um, there were two promising photos that looked like a flipper on um what you would imagine a Pleisiosort flipper to look like, and that was probably um the only thing that I would say like actually looks believable. And then there was also um one of the pictures that was taken in the Rhine's research for the Academy of Applied Science, there was one picture taken that does look somewhat like it could be a plesiosaur, but it could also just be some funky-shaped driftwood or something. Allie had said that it looks like a fish that threw up. And it could look like a trail of shit following the very much could. And then there's the gargoyle face picture that really freaked Allie out. Oh she said she was afraid of it. Ugly. And I think that it looks like a giant grasshopper face. I think it looks like a monster. But not the Loch Ness monster. No, no, no, just a fucking monster. Well, if it looks like the Loch Ness, then the Loch Ness face looked just like an angry, an angry uh grasshopper to me. Long story short, a bunch of people threw a bunch of money into this water to try to find a monster, and all they found were logs and dogs, and cats and baby bats. I don't think that those were actually things that they found. No, but it all rhymed, so it did. So on today's episode, we're gonna kind of finish up the information that we have, right? This is the last one. No the 21st episode. This is part three of four. Oh my god. 21 is still coming. 10 pages. There's still 10 solid pages. We are only halfway through. Wow. We are halfway through the Loch Nest Monster. So, um, in my recap, I do want to mention that, you know, we talked about in June 28th that there was an international team of researchers that went in and did DNA search and they found uh no DNA of large fish, such as shark sturdons or catfish, which is interesting because we did find the DNA of eels. Yes. Uh there was no otter. Um, there was a lot of eel DNA. We remember that. And they also mentioned that it could be, you know, just a result of eels of they said there could be eels of like extreme size. Um, additionally, what we didn't go over was that there is a large possibility that the amount of eel DNA is simply from the many small eels that are already in the loch that they know of. And um, of course, they found no reptilian DNA sequences of any type. And then Gemmel added, so I think we can be fairly sure that there's probably not a giant scaly reptile swimming around in Loch Ness. That's unfortunate. I know. I'm sorry. I I told you. I tried I tried to warn you that you did not want to do this episode because you would no longer be a believer. At first, I would I would see like someone like, yeah, it's not as much. Like it's not as bad thing, like, oh, okay, these are just some pictures. But the more we read, I'm like, this is more and more disappointing. The amount of effort that people have put into this and come up with nothing. Yes, is very disappointing. So in August of 2023, it's just three years ago, so they're still pouring money into this into this lake in Scotland. I wish I was a lake. People pour money into me. That'd be nice. Let's go become a lake. Let's go become a lake. With how much I'm peeing, I might as well be. Uh so in August 2023, for the 90th anniversary of the Allie McKay sighting, a high-tech weekend-long investigation was conducted in Loch Ness by the Loch Ness Exploration Volunteers in coordination with the Loch Ness Visitors Center. And the volunteers used sonar for mapping the loch bed, thermal imaging drones to scan the surface, and hydrophones, which are just underwater microphones. And they were able to record some sounds. However, it's believed that they were probably ducks. Additionally, there were several live stream cameras pointed at the lock with hundreds watching online and a large turnout of searchers at the lock itself during the search. And unfortunately, no conclusive sightings that were seen. Almost there. Like, I'm like, I bet you there were people that lost days. Literally, they said it was a whole weekend. I guarantee there were people that did not sleep. How much caffeine do you think people consume just to watch that footage? I've never seen. I mean, you never know. If your neighbor's got ADHDs, slip them some nose. Or if you go buy a bunch of Pseudafed. So now we're gonna get into the fun stuff. Ooh, fun. Do they finally find the Loch Ness monster? No. Oh. But we're gonna talk about hoaxes. Oh yay! So I'm gonna pass it on to you, and you get to start us off on the hoaxes of our first Loch Ness monster. Set of hoaxes. There have been many hoaxes, attempts at hoaxes, discoveries of hoaxes. You get what I'm trying to say here. Say hoaxes as much as I have, and you will go crazy. Regardless, we're gonna talk about them. Yes. So hoax number one. Forestry Commission employee Lachlan Stewart took a picture on July 14th, 1951, of three mysterious humps rising from the water in the lock. Researchers visited the same spot where he had taken the picture over 20 years later and realized it was extremely shallow water that was really close to the shore. This means Stewart's monster would have been very flat. Hey. You know what? That's not fair. Flat girls' lives matter too. Author Richard Freery later revealed that Stuart had confessed to him the humps were nothing more than bales of hay covered with tarpaulins. Tarps with tarp. Wait is that the is that the is that the full name of a tarp? Is tarpul tarpaulins? What? What? Tarpaulins? I think that's what tarp is. What the fuck? See, and I thought it was tarp tarpenes? Terpenes, yeah. Like in wheat? Yep. Tarpaulins. Is it tarp? Yeah. Large, strong, and flexible sheets of water-resistant or waterproof material. Also known as tarps. Wow, I did not know. Guys, we just learned the full name for a tarp. I didn't know tarp was a nickname. Me either. What's going on with my life? The hoax reveal something to us. I know, right? We're more surprised at the fact that it's a tarpulin is the long word for tarp. We didn't find the lockness monster, but we found the longer word for tarp. That's correct. But for what it's worth, that does look like it could very well be something. Serpent thingy because of the way it's like But that's the thing too. Right. But then when you look down here in that left corner, that looks like land. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like that literally looks like so it looks like it's like 10-15 feet out from the main land. Three large people swimming towards they're literally just arched backs. They're just doing a bridge in the fucking water. The big backs of ye olden time. Oh god. Look, that actually looks like it could be someone's ass up in the air. It does. Nessie's throwing it back. She's Jesus. On July 29th, 1995, Peter McNabb took a photograph at Yerkhart Castle that depicted two long black humps in the water. Two years later, Constance White used it in her book about the creature. Later, author Ronald Benz wrote that the phenomenon which McNabb photographed could easily be a wave effect resulting from three trawlers traveling closely together up the lock. What? Did I just read? Hold on. Three crawlers? Three trawlers. What the fuck is a trawler? I'm writing a lot of words today. Other researchers do consider the photograph to be a hoax. Roy Mackel requested to use it in his book in 1976. When he received the original negative from McNabb, he discovered it was a little different from the one that appeared in White's book. The tree at the bottom left corner was missing from the negative, and now suspected that the photograph was doctored by re-photographing a print of the original. Is that like old school Photoshop? I think, yeah. Have you ever done that? Have you ever taken a picture on top of a picture? Oh, like a double exposure? Yeah. Yeah. I think is that what this is like alluding to? I think so. Oh, interesting. Re-photographing a print of the original. So I think that what they mean is like they printed out the original and then they like set it up in a certain way so that when they took another picture of it, that it looked slightly different, or they could do add stuff to it to make it look, you know. So on May 21st, 1977, Anthony Shields, a magician who goes by Doc, was camping next to Urkhart Castle, and he took what was allegedly the clearest picture of the monster available. Shields claimed he summoned the creature out of the water. Okay. If y'all could see my face right now. Because nobody else but you has the power to do that, apparently. Right. Do it again. Do it again, please. Picks where it didn't happen. Like, come on, bro. 1977. Oh, sorry, it'll take you 85 minutes to take a picture. I know that they were faster at that point. Anyways, he described it gets better. Oh god. He described it as an elephant squid. Oh god. Claiming the long neck-like object in the photo is the squid's trunk. And the white spot at the base of the neck is its eye. God, LSD hit hard in the late. You're not wrong. This man's randomly snooping around an abandoned castle and he sees a fucking crazy ass creature. Yeah, and I'm supposed to believe you're not on drugs. In the hip hair? Oh no. Pix where it didn't happen. It has been deemed a hoax due to the lack of ripples and translucent look, and received its name because of how staged it seems. No fucking shit. We're gonna find this picture right now. No. Are you kidding me? That looks like an old Godzilla movie. Right? It really, it really does. What the fuck? There's no way. And that's supposed to be a trunk. That's supposed to be an elephant squid. This is what he's trying to uh say that it was. Something like this. That doesn't look work appropriate. It doesn't. That looks like a sex toy. A really weird one. A really weird one. Oh interesting. If we find out that Nessie exists and that's what they actually look like, I'm disgusted. Same D's. That's more disappointing than the rest of the information that we've been reading. It does look like it's like Photoshopped in there. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. With that generation CGI. For real. Exactly. Like it looks like he like cut it out of a magazine and like glued it to the picture and then retook the picture with another camera. On August 3rd, 2012, skipper George Edwards. Claimed that he took a photo on November 2nd of 2011. This is almost a whole fucking year later. Showing Nessie. Edwards claims that he has searched for the monster for 26 years and spent 60 hours per week on the lock taking tourists for boat rides in his boat named the Nessie Hunter 4.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

What happened to I want to know what happened to 1, 2, and 3.

SPEAKER_03 22:26

Researcher Steve Feltham suggested that the object is just a fiberglass hump used in a National Geographic channel documentary in which Edwards had participated. These get real shitty, real fast. If you could if they if my facial expression had sound, it would be like you know what I mean? Like a tea kettle? Like a tea kettle and someone's nails on a chalkboard and someone stepping on an owl. All at the same time. Edwards admitted in October 2013 that his 2011 photo was a hoax. So a whole nother year later, this man really likes his whole waiting a year in between. So before we keep reading the rest, I have a feeling that you might have something to break up the tension. I'm really glad you read hoaxes because I clearly forgot. Do you have your sounds ready?

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

That one's my favorite one. I don't know why. It's because the crows like corn. Yeah, maybe that's what it is. My mom has a flock of ravens at my grandma's house now. She said there's like between three and five of them. They come around at noon every day. They've started feeding them and giving them rains. That's crazy. Yeah, I know. Anyway, so Allie, I do have a corny joke for you. Your inklings were correct. Good intuition. This is just proof. You can always trust a woman's intuition. What happened to the frog's car when it broke down? Is it a leapfrog joke? No, it was Toad. Oh, that's funny! I actually did enjoy that one. Because these disappointing hoaxes were really driving me down. That is another rendition of one of my favorite dad jokes, which is what happened to the frog when he parked illegally. He was to which is Rosie's favorite joke. When you tell, if I tell that joke in front of her, her instant reaction is ha! I love her. She's so funny. She she cackles like a witch at that joke, and I just love her for it. So all right, with that wonderful joke, let's go back into some pure disappointment. Pure disappointment time. In 1959, Italian journalist Francesco Gaspolini reported seeing a strange fish and fabricated eyewitness accounts. I had the inspiration to get a hold of the item about the strange fish. The idea of the monster had never dawned on me, but then I noticed that the strange fish would not yield a long article, and I decided to promote the imaginary being to the rank of monster without further ado. Wow. Okay, so I understand the sentence, but this was really hard to read. It's because it's like weird English. So he He's talking very pretentiously. Yeah. Um You should say it's in this accent. I'm just kidding. And maybe that'll help out. So basically in this one, he Lord Snobbington had this idea of a fake fish, or he had seen oh not a fake fish, I'm sorry, a strange fish. He had this idea about a strange fish, and then he saw this strange fish. It was not actually the Loch Ness monster, but he labeled it as the Loch Ness monster, so that was paying attention to him. Right. It's kind of like when when someone goes fishing and they caught a fish that was six inches, but then by the time they've told the story the tenth time, it was a foot, and then 20 times later it's a foot and a half. It's the same thing. Sounds like every time he tells a story, the fish gets a little weirder and weirder until it's become the Loch Ness monster. Oh, I wasn't gonna say that part, but I would be like, that sounds like every first date I've had. Oh god. It starts off with six inches, you leave with a foot. I'm not sure how to take this. Uh, it's just about guys lying about their penis. If you're gonna lie about something that I can literally measure with a fucking ruler, what else are you gonna lie with about? You know I cut hair, right? You know I know how to measure an inch with my penis. Did you know that it is not the Loch Ness monster? It is not! Let's continue. In the 1930s, a big game hunter named Mark Mad damn these names. Markmaduke. Mark Markmaduke? Let me see. I just want to name a Marmaduke. Marmaduke. There's an K in there. No, yeah. Marmaduke. Marmaduke. Oh, okay. Where the fuck are they putting this? I don't know. You have dyslexia. This is how I discover it. It's through the fucking podcast. Your second part your part-time job is reading, and you find out you're fucking dyslexic a year into it. It's horrible. In the 1930s, a big game hunter named Marmaduke Wethrall went to Loch Ness to search for Nessie. During his hunt, he claimed to find footprints. Casts of the footprints were sent to scientists. Through analysis, it was determined that they were from a hippopotamus. Some prankster had made them using an umbrella stand made from a hippopotamus foot. Oh god, this was the 1930s. I mean, that's probably a common thing. Okay, it wasn't he didn't cut the elephant's foot off and then stick a an umbrella pole through it. No, no, no. They literally had like like hippo foot. Oh yeah. They literally had like hippo foot umbrella holders, like taxidermy hippo foots. Oh, yeah. That's weird. It is. The 30s was a weird time. The 30s was a weird time. We're just gonna ignore that for now. How about you uh jump us into the 70s? Ali's really unsettled by this hippopotamus thing. Uh yeah, uh yeah. You literally saw stripper ducks at the Oddities Festival. But I didn't put them on an umbrella. Like I didn't skewer the body part of the umbrella. It's not skewered, it's hollow. They're full of things. It's just the skin. Oh, it's just the skin. On the outside of something. I thought it was just meat, bone, and all that. They just Yeah, they're just gonna have a rotting piece of carcass inside their house to stab their umbrella. No, it's like Nessie footprints. Apparently. This is the last page. Here we have these pictures are very believable. More believable than the Oh yeah, look, they look way better than some Godzilla picture that we saw earlier. So a former army captain named Frank Searle searched for the monster in the early 70s. He was a colonial style adventurer, me too! Accompanied by a team of beautiful young monster huntresses. Oh, that is you! He took several alleged photos of Nessie, many were published by the media, but all of them have been debunked. They were all strippers in a trench coat. Yep. Womp, womp. Many of his earlier photos have been proven to be of floating tree trunks. Later on, he resorted to cutting and pasting dinosaurs from postcards into his photos. Here is a bunch of his pictures that he took, and they all look relatively believable for us. Honestly, he did a good job. Right? These photos. These top three look like vlogs. Okay, this one does look like somebody trying to do a sexy pose in the water. It's Nessie, sexy Nessie. Sexy Nessie? It's sexy Nessie. We need a sticker of that now. We need a sticker of sexy Nessie. She's gonna Nessie in a bikini. I'm gonna ask Dominique to draw me Nessie with abs. And then the other ones, like, these ones you can tell are probably the dinosaurs. Yeah. And then I don't know what that is. That's a turd. That's a turd. It looks like a turdole. Or maybe like maybe like a hump of land. Just a poop. I would have taken a big shit and just been like, this is an essay shit. This is an essie poo. Okay. In 1972, on April Fool's Day, of course. When else are you gonna pull a good hoax? A team of zoologists from Yorkshire's Flamingo Park Zoo searched for the creature. They did discover a large body floating in the water. Interesting. It was just string in your body. Just a body. It was around 4.9 to 5.4 meters, 16 to 18 foot for my American friends. And it weighed close to 1.5 tons. That is like 3,000 pounds. That's a lot of pounds. The press association described it as having a bear's head and a brown scaly body with claw-like fins. It's a sea bear. It's a sea bear. They found a real one. You just draw a circle around it. Just draw a circle. Make sure you have your anti-sea bear. Anti-sea bear underwear on. I don't think that's the right animal. I think it was the other one. Make sure it doesn't attack because that's gonna that's gonna attract other scary things that I can't remember the name of from SpongeBob. The team planned on taking it to the zoo for testing, but police seized the creature under an act of parliament that prohibits the removal of, quote, unidentified creatures from Loch Ness. Okay, so they literally have an ordinance against this. Oh, from taking specifically from Loch Ness. Probably because the government wants to experiment on the body if they ever find the real Nessy body. Spoiler alert, they will not. It was later discovered that Flamingo Park education officer John Shields had shaved the whiskers of and otherwise disfigured a bull elephant seal that had died the previous week. He dumped it in Loch Ness as a prank on his colleagues, and it was also Officer Shields' birthday that day. See, people do this kind of sick shit, and you don't think that I'd think that they have a dead hippopotamus carcass just carrying around to make footprints? Yeah. Valid points. Valid points. They just, you know, amputated a hippo foot. In Ali's mind, that's exactly what happened there. They just amputated it and they were walking around with an umbrella stab. An umbrella stab down inside of it. Not a stick, not a dowel rod, not a sword or anything like that. A fucking umbrella. Look, you get what you use. Jeez. Man oh man. Use what you get. You use what you get? I don't know. You have what you use and you get what you get. I don't know. So next week we're gonna go over a few more hoaxes, and then we're gonna talk about the explanations that have been offered for the Loganess Monster. Nice. That uh that will be a fun time. That'll be episode 21. 75. Four of four. Oh wait, we've actually made 75 episodes? No. Disappointing. Almost as disappointing as next. Well 52, right? 52 will be one year, which won't be until the end of September. So we started in September? September 28th. Wow. Eighth, seventh, eighth. What are we gonna do for our anniversary? I don't know. 29th, sorry, September 29th. Are we gonna have a bottle of champagne for the for the episode? Did you oh my god. When did I talk about when we went to fucking Seattle for work and Mandy was holding a bottle of hotline and it just fucking exploded in her hand all by itself? That was wild. Anything she holds in her hand will explode by itself. Okay, so my sources are Tetrazoology, Wikipedia, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Say that ten times. No, I don't want to. Me either. I'm already having a stroke, apparently. No, remember your arms were fine. Oh yeah. So Which one of us read the last rock? Was it you? This one looks. It could be two different things. It either looks Bloodstone. That's what I was thinking. Either Bloodstone or Dragonstone. Or Dragon Blood. Way too green. That's why I say it's the dragon one. Dragon blood or dragonstone or something similar. I think. This one is Bloodstone! Nice! We were correct on our first guess. Bloodstone's pretty easy to get. It looks like somebody hit you with the rock. Yeah, yeah. It does. It's like black with like red and quartz-looking pieces in it. This has some greenish tint to it, but it could also just be like reflecting something in the background. Maybe. So what it is, Bloodstone is an earthy green. See? It is green. It's just really dark green. That is green green. That is blue green. It's green green. But I've also seen it where it's like black with quartz as well. Okay. Anyways, okay. Bloodstone is an earthy green calcedony splattered with a seriously activating red jasper. In the Middle Ages, some believe the red splotches on the stone surface were the blood of Christ. Who needs it? The constantly overworked and completely drained by the soul-sucking machinations of modern life. Capricorns. Are you a Capricorn? No, but my boyfriend is. Oh, hey! Hit him over the head with rock. He is definitely completely drained by the soul-sucking machinations of modern life. If you hit him with that rock, he'll be fine. That would be murder. Or attempted. No, it's only if he dies. I said hit him, don't maim him. I know the ones that I have are very tiny, so it'd probably just piss him off a little bit. So probably don't do that, honestly. Anyways, where to put it? Wherever Ali says hit your preferred Put it on your boyfriend. Wherever you do the important work. Spiritual, physical, and psychological. Anyways. When to use it when you're totally blood dry and it's time to get into your body and start feeling your damn self. Okay, so maybe I need this. Maybe you just need to take some iron. Sleep, get some exercise, take nourishment, and call on Bloodstone to drag your ass out of the house to face the day. Chin up, head high. I like that. It sounds like a prescription. Right. And the motto for the stone is power up your vitals.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

I like it. I want to.

SPEAKER_03 37:53

Power up my vitals. My vitals need to be powered a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

Right.

SPEAKER_03 37:56

Yeah. I don't know. We need to go to the doctor. We need to go to the doctor. Yeah, that's good point. So I I think with that being said, it's about time we go to the doctor. It's about time we go to the You know what? You two, go to the fucking doctor if you haven't. If you need to go. Go. Do it. Take care of your fucking self. We care about you. That being said, thank you for listening to Conjuring Chaos. And make sure to hit that subscribe button, look us up on the social medias. You can find us on Instagram and TikTok as Conjuring Chaos Podcast. And please email us your story so that we can tell them here on Conjuring Chaos. No matter how big, no matter how small, no matter how boring you might think it is, we are definitely interested. We want to create this safe space for this kind of stuff, and we need to tell stories for that to happen. So send them all in. Or we'll keep screaming at you about Nessie. We are two witchy weirdos with microphones, and thank you for conjuring chaos with us. Well no, farts are not in the can form, but John's bringing something in. What are you handing me? A monster? Caffeine. Is it alcoholic? It says six percent on it. Alcoholic monster. Okay. That is incredibly delicious. Oh my god. What the fuck? You can't taste it? No, not at all.