The Loch Ness Monster Part 4

We finally bring you to the end of our research on Nessie, and it doesn't look very good for believers. Today we discuss the last of the hoaxes, along with several possible explanations of what could be causing the Nessie phenomenon. Our corny joke is about as funny as a math equation you're being forced to solve, and out crystal of the week is Hiddenite. Stay Chaotic!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_03 0:18

Welcome to Conjuring Chaos. We're two witchy weirdos with microphones. I'm Chase, and this is my co-host Allie. And I just bought a new swim outfit. And we're here to tell you something weird. It doesn't fit right. Let's set the vibe. Allie. Who pulled a finger last time? I'm pretty sure I did. Okay, it's my turn then. Okay, before we read our badass affirmation of the week, we gotta get our fingers up and our focks down. But before that, let's take a deep breath in. And out. Alright, our lucky number of the week is five.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Oh, that's a really good number. Last week was 15.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Oh, yeah, last week it was 15. I am fierce, fearless, and unstoppable. You know, that whole thing feels like that tomorrow.

unknown 1:21

You know what?

SPEAKER_03 1:22

I I felt like that all week, so that's kind of nice. That's good. What's chaotic in your life this week, Allie?

SPEAKER_00 1:28

One of my new work companions disappeared. Not in a bad way, but um, well, maybe in a bad way. Well, some personal things happened in her life, and it took her from one city to another city overnight, and then she stopped showing up for work. And just didn't communicate anything. Well, she communicated at first, and then we were playing this game with phone tag, and then after a while she just stopped communicating, and then I was like, oh. So that's terrifying.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Yeah, I was gonna I was literally about to say terrifying, and then I was like, Don't be don't be dramatic, Chase. But yeah, no, that is that is a scary situation.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

So the thing is, uh at least I know, well, I would say at least at least I I know she's reading my messages because I see the red receipts, but I don't know who's opening those. Right, you don't know if it's her. Um, I hope she's okay wherever she is. Um that's kind of the chaos in in my brain. That is that is scary.

unknown 2:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

What about you? What's been categoric in your life?

SPEAKER_03 2:30

I lost two stylists.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Okay, so we both lost one, two, you lost two. We lost people.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

I one of them, one of them like straight up put her her notice on the desk and like was like, I'm not coming back after today. Okay. And then um the other one uh just like no call, no showed for well, she was scheduled Saturday, and then we didn't hear from her all week. She was off most of the week. We finally heard back from her today. Um, but yeah, she just like we didn't hear from her for a whole week, and then we did we heard from her today, so we know she's okay, but like it's just like okay, if that's how you want to quit, then go for it.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

But I think it's weird that people are so comfortable just disappearing off the face of the earth. Right.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Well, you know, Mercury started retrograde last Monday. Oh, okay, and it was on a full moon. But the thing, here's the thing, is this retrograde is different than past retrogrades or typical retrogrades because this one, since it started on a full moon during like the summer solstice time, it's actually a cleansing one, a cleansing retrograde. So instead of like the typical like just fuck everything up, it's just like a it's almost like a clean house. Yeah, it's almost like a um moldovite style in good way, you know, like it's good way because things to happen chaotically, and a yeah, kind of, but like it pushes things out that don't belong and it lets you release things that are no longer serving you in a way of like personal growth. Okay, so like I feel that personally because I've like started this whole path of self-growth and self-love and treating myself like a human again for the first time in forever, and I feel that because like it's not that it's an easy path, but I feel it feels right and like it's easier than it sh would normally be, I guess you could say, and so I think that that's got something to do with it.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

That's funny that you say that because the past few days I've been having this feeling of like I want to explore myself and my mind a little bit more, like to understand myself a little bit, and I rarely ever have like those urges or feelings, and I'm like, huh. Which is why I did the whole bathing suit shopping today. Tried something that I haven't worn before, and I it feels nice, it looks confident. So it looked good, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:00

Yeah, that's the two the two people disappearing on me. Not disappearing on me. Yeah, it's been a weird, it's been a weird week.

SPEAKER_05 5:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

So it's gonna get through it. At least we're oh god, I don't want to say that like that, but at least we're doing well. Right, I know, right?

SPEAKER_03 5:18

We're on this side of the green side of the city.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

I'm grateful that I'm not six feet under.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Man, so I guess with our personal chaos out of the way, is it time to kind of recap the chaos we had from last week?

SPEAKER_03 5:34

Yeah, so our less 58 episodes. Right. It is 25. Okay, so we're on part four of the Loch Ness Nom Lochness Monster. Not Lochness Nomster. Um, so okay, listen, I wanted to believe in Nessie before, but now it's kind of hard, and I apologize to anyone else who feels the same way. Sorry for ruining your life. Um, so there have been lots of expeditions, so much, so much money just dumped into this lake in Scotland. I don't know why I have to say it that way. Anyways, it's it's a bit ridiculous. Uh, we learned that there's a lot of eel DNA in there. Um, we learned that some of the pictures that were taken were easily proven to be fake. Lots of hoaxes. Lots of hoaxes. Uh, there's still more. We have three more and then explanations. Okay. So. So we're continuing with the hostess. The hostess. The hoaxes. Yeah. We're gonna continue with the hostess.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

The hostess.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

I guess let's get chaotic, huh? Let's get chaotic. Let's get chaotic. So Gerald McSorley tripped and fell into the lock on July 2nd of 2003. And when that happened, he discovered a fossil of Nessie. Okay. A fossil? Uh-huh. So Nessie enthusiast had suspicions that it may be from an ancestor to the creature. And after it was examinated, it was discovered that the lime, the limestone it was embedded in was not from the area. Okay. So making it over. Yeah, making it pretty clear that the fossil had been planted. Oh. And if you look at the picture, it looks like goldfish crackers. You know what it looks like to me is a mammoth mouth fossil. Okay. Mammoth tooth. It looks like mammoth teeth to me. Mammoth teeth. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Not believable. Yeah. If somebody showed me that, I would like, I don't know what part of Nessie I'm looking at, but that doesn't look like any part of Nessie.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Explain to me, please. What part is this? Can you point on this graph? On this.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Can you point on this Nessie doll where this bone would be?

SPEAKER_02 7:55

No!

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Where did Nessie touch you, sir?

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Nessie trauma. Nessie's therapist is like, Nessie, can you point to me where the bone was? Where did they put the bone? Can't.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

Okay, so in 2004, a team of cinematic special effects experts from a 5 TV documentary tried to convince people that there was something in the lock by constructing an animatronic model of a plesiosaur dinosaur and placing it in the lock.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

They're like, guys, look, there's definitely something in the lock that I just put something in.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Don't mind all those jerky ass movements and the fake ass looking latex skin. That's a real monster. Also, cinematic special effects experts. That tells you everything you're like, really? Am I gonna believe anything on their Facebook? Right. They're probably the ones that made the moon landing. I believe in the moon landing 100%. Me too. We are so gonna have to cover that though. Uh the moon landing being possibly fake. The conspiracy behind it. I like that one. We're gonna have to definitely cover that at some point. They named it Lucy. Oh. And at one point, it sank to the bottom of the lock. However, about 600 sightings were reported where they had placed her.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Okay, so everybody saw the Lochness monster that they placed. Everybody saw the fake Lochness monster. That's wonderful. Everybody saw the fake Lochness monster. I wonder if it made the stuff worse. After that, people are starting to throw more money into it. Yeah, they're like, they're like, I saw it. It was moving all by itself. It was twitching at the bottom of the water. It's so alive that electric sparks were coming out of it. It's also an eel.

SPEAKER_03 10:06

That explains the DNA.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

Oh my god, what if the Loch Ness monster was a type of- Just a big ass eel.

SPEAKER_03 10:12

That's one of the things that we talked about in the second episode.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

What about if it was like an eel head with a dinosaur body?

SPEAKER_03 10:19

That's called a plesiosaur. But they can't move their heads like that. Oh, like it's got a long. She did chicken bobbly head, but like moving forward like a snake. The flathery snack. So in 2005, two American students that were visiting the area found a deer carcass with what looked to be a large tooth stuck into the side of it on the shore. Here's a picture of the tooth. That looks like a deer antler to me. It looks like it's loaded with marijuana. No, that looks like a deer antler to me. You know what's funny is they make a lot of pipes out of deer antlers.

SPEAKER_04 11:00

That's cool.

SPEAKER_03 11:01

A gay morden passing by had confiscated it, but not before they had a chance to take a few pictures that they used to set up a website attempting to lobby for the return of the tooth to them. Just get a fucking petition. Or go find another dead deer. Right. Or just pull the horn off of a dead deer. Because that's what this is a deer horn. Clearly. Okay. Animal experts soon revealed that the tooth was just the antler of a moon jack. Mont muntjack. I've never heard of a mutjack. Munt jack? What is a munt jack? Can you pull a picture? It's a type of deer. Oh. Okay. It was just the antler of a munt jack, which is that looks like the Lochness monster of land. It's literally just a cute ass little deer. He's got eyebrows. Long, stout body and long hair. I loved his little horns. And his horns. They come way up. The fur goes way up his horns. That's wild. Is that vampire teeth? Look, it literally looks just like the horn that's in that person's hand. Vampire teeth? I don't think so, but it does have some weird shit going on in its face right there. Secretive deer from Asia. Known for their dog-like barks.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

What? That's so cool. I love when animals, like the animals they look like.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

They do have canine teeth. Eventually it was discovered the entire thing was a publicity stunt to promote the horror novel The Lock by Steve Alton. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

So I'm assuming that he like everybody's used this in a way to promote their own like book or movie or TV show. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 12:43

Yep, precisely. It's that's it. That's yup.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Yup yeah. So now that we're done with the hoaxes, let's go into some of the explanations. There are many possible explanations for Nessie, and none of them is the only explanation either. They can be categorized as misidentification of known animals, misidentifications of inanimate objects, misidentification of effects, reinterpretations of Scottish folklore.

SPEAKER_03 13:13

Thank God you didn't say misrepresentations again.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Hoaxes, exotic species of large animals, and even smaller animals that appear larger due to forced perspective. Misidentification of known animals. Awesome. So the most common animal to be misidentified for Nessie are eels.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Oh, who would have guessed it?

SPEAKER_00 13:39

In early speculation for what the monster was is a large European eel. Okay. That makes sense. We are in Europe. Uh-huh. And I mean that was a DNA that was found a lot. Yeah. Eels are commonly found in loch nests, and eels are commonly found in loch nests, and an unusually large, an unusually large one would explain many sightings. Distin Diz Dinsdale. Dinsdale dis Dinsdale dismissed the hypothesis because eels were swimming side to side like snakes, and this creature did not move in that way. From nine from 2018 to 2019, scientists from New Zealand took a massive project to document every single organism they possibly could in lock nests based on DNA samples they took. That sounds like a pain in the fucking ass. Right. But that also sounds like fun. If you like to work in labs and like to use specimens and stuff, to me, that sounds like a really fun project. Um the reports confirm that European eels are still prominently found in the lock. However, no DNA samples were found of large animals like catfish, greenland sharks, or plesiosaurs.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

I guess that completely takes that off the table.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

That's how we find out dinosaurs are still alive. That'd be freaking cool. It'd be wild. Many scientists now believe that giant eels account for most of the sightings.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

I mean, I agree. And I don't care that eels go side to side. I think they can go up and down too. You know, yeah, just like that. Just like that beautiful eel impression.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Only this was a recording and I mean a video recording and not a just we made that choice the way that we made that choice. I wiggled up and down instead of side to side. Yeah. Yep, exactly. So the second animal that was misidentified for Nessie was elephants.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Wait, wait, wait. Who's taking their elephant to the lake? Hey, elephants need to walk around and get wet too. Oh wait, whoa, whoa. Sorry. I meant they need to go into like water.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Like really confirming that furry shit. That makes you confirming that furry shurry shit. You're just really confirming that furry shit. Look. Shit, I accused you of earlier.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Just because Luther's attractive doesn't mean any oh wait, he is mixed with a monkey, goddammit.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Is that what the serum is? I think I assume. Yes. I know that Diego calls it monkey serum or gorilla serum at one point.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

But yeah, so in 1979, an article talks about California biologist Dennis Power and geographer Donald Johnson who claimed that the surgeon's photograph was the top of the head, extended trunk, and flared nostrils of a swimming elephant that was photographed in a different body of water and claimed to be taken at Loch Nest. In 2006, paleontologist and artist Neil Clark suggested that traveling circuses who allowed their elephants to bathe in Loch Nest might be responsible for some of the sightings, as a trunk could be the perceived head and neck with the head and back with the head and back perceived as the humps. Clark Clark provided an example as a painting.

SPEAKER_03 17:05

So here's the surgeon's photo. Oh see how it does look like it could be an elephant trunk right there. And like that could be its forehead, technically.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

See, that makes a lot more sense. Now that I look at it as an elephant's trunk, I'm like, I if I hold this off to the side, I'm like, that's totally looks like an elephant's trunk.

SPEAKER_03 17:25

Mm-hmm. That's yep. I'm glad that I have that picture stolen. Good thing I didn't throw away my research yet.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Greenland sharks were also misidentified for Nessie. Jeremy Wade, a zoologist. Wait. But earlier it said that they didn't even find DNA of Greenland sharks. Exactly. I'm assuming that this was one of the reasons that they took that DNA just to see if there were any kind of Greenland sharks inside there. So people probably thought there were, and then they're not going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

And for what it's worth, if there's just like one that like swam up river or whatever, then it might not have left enough DNA for them to be able to catch, you know.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Jeremy Wade, a zoologist, angler, and television presenter, investigated the creature in tw 2013 in the series River Monsters. That sounds familiar. I think I'm that.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Yes! But Jeremy, it's you said Jeremy Wade? Yeah. Yes, okay, I know exactly who that guy is.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Nice. He's he's smart. Well, he was able to conclude that the Greenland sharks. What? He was able to conclude that it is a Greenland shark. Oh, oh okay. The Greenland shark can reach up to 20 feet, 6.1 meters in length, and typically inhabits the North Atlantic Ocean, and typically inhabits the North Atlantic Ocean near Canada. Greenland, Iceland, Norway, and possibly Scotland.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

It is a dark color with a small dorsal fin. According to biologist Bruce Wright, the Greenland shark could theoretically survive in fresh water, possibly using rivers and lakes to find food. And Loch Ness does have an abundance of salmon and other fish. So I mean I think it could have been one of them that went up there, but I don't know. To me, it's conflicting that they didn't find any Greenland shark DNA. So I don't think it was like filled with them or anything.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

But yeah, no, that totally makes sense because I don't know that one picture looks like it could be the one that looks like a big catfish. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? I think that one could could potentially be that. From Google Maps. This one. Yeah. So interestingly, when we saw that one, we kind of like mentioned some things we thought it looked like. Wells catfish. Also, River Monsters does an episode on the Wells catfish too. It's pretty good. Is it a really big catfish? It's a really fucking big catfish. Like really fucking big, like big enough to eat a man.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

I want to see, I'm gonna look up a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Big enough to swallow a manhole. In July of 2015, it was reported that there were three different oh, it was reported by three different news outlets that Steve Feltham theorized the monster is an incredibly large wells catfish. Which may have been released during the 19th century. Wait, that's just the 1800s, isn't it? Or is it the that's an 1800s? Yeah, fucking huge, right? Yeah, so I can literally consume a human man, like could swallow a human hole. They can swallow a human hole. They could swallow a human hole. They get so big, they could swallow a human hole. Don't let this fish get near your ass, or it'll swallow your hole. Yeah. It'll swallow your hole. That's totally what I said. It also kind of looks like it's eel. Just gonna open its it does. It's just gonna open its fucking mouth like a like a whale and just swallow you whole. And they have the weird little fin across the bottom like that. Yeah, that see how flat the top is? That looks just like that one picture.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

Um people can tell me this is a lock nest monster, and I would definitely believe it. Absolutely. Look right there.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Oh, that's literally the picture from the fucking Google Earth picture. We've solved it. We've solved that Nessie is just a Wells Catfish, a gigantic fucking Wells catfish. Other things, uh, other residential animals. It's very difficult to judge the size of an object in the water through a telescope or binoculars without any external references. So, like when you're seeing these pictures that are from far away and you can't see like the shore around the person that's taking the picture, you can't tell how far out it really is. So it can make it look a lot bigger or smaller than it actually is. And Loch Ness has otters that live in it and have and many have captured photos of them swimming in the loch with deer. I forgot that deer love to swim. That's wild. Is that where they found the Chinese deer? Maybe, maybe, no, I don't think that's what I think it's just in that particular area, it's in the right area for it still. But According to Bins, some well-known aquatic birds may have been mistaken for head and neck sightings, which makes sense too. Because like they're going to be able to do it. There's some birds with long necks. So we're going to go over misidentifications of inanimate objects or effects. But before we do that, I just want to talk about a little bit about how you know the idea of Nessie not being real has really grown on me. Just like corn has grown on you. I am not growing corns, okay? Listen, oh yeah, no, that's that's a bad joke. Terrible segue. But um there were some giant fields the whole way up here of wheat. Not corn. I didn't see any fucking corn. It made me sad.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

I thought that they were corn, but it is wheat, okay. Yeah, it's either wheat or rye.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

I don't know the difference.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

But I do know what this is.

SPEAKER_03 22:56

So, Allie, why did the can crusher quit his job?

SPEAKER_00 23:01

The can crusher. Why? Because it was so depressing. The cr can crusher? The can soda depressing. I had to I had to look at the damn car. So depressing.

SPEAKER_03 23:22

Soda depressing. Fucking A. I normally like a good corny joke. That was horrible. Well, I guess it's as disappointing to end with the fact that Nancy isn't real.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

That joke was so depressing. That was funnier. You need to be writing these jokes, Chase.

SPEAKER_03 23:48

Listen. I know I'm a comical genius. That's why I bought a microphone and a laptop. So that the so the world can experience my hilarity. Okay. So you know what else has been misidentified as Nessie? Boat wakes. Boat wakes? What is a boat wake? You know when a boat's going through the water really fast and it has those like little whoop little waves behind it in the V? If the boat goes by fast enough and then the wake continues afterwards, someone might happen to turn after the boat's gone and be like, oh, what's that weird wake? It's from a fucking boat. That's probably what that one video was. We're just kept going, and I was like, There's literally waves between that one and the shore. That's obviously a wave. How could that guy say there's no other waves when we can see the other fucking waves? Anyways, there have been wakes reported when the lock is calm and no boats are nearby or traveling through. A bartender named David Monroe reported a wake he saw that he believed to be a creature zigzagging, diving, and reappearing along the surface of the water. There are allegedly 26 other witnesses reported from a car park nearby. Some sightings described a V-shaped wake similar to that of a boat. Other reports claim they saw something inconsistent with the shape of a boat. So, yeah, boat wakes. They think that people are misidentifying boat wakes as well. These people need better glasses. For real. Additionally, trees. Okay. In 1982, Maurice Burton Maurice Burton wrote a series of articles proposing messy sightings may be dirt due to fermenting Scots pine logs rising to the surface of the water. Oh, that would explain why one of them looked just like a piece of log? Exactly. A decomposing log is initially unable to release the gas caused by decay because its high resin level seals off the ends of the log. That makes sense. Because of that, gas pressure will eventually rise up to a point that it will rupture a resin seal at one end of the log, causing it to propel through the water. What? That's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Just a water missile waiting to explode.

SPEAKER_03 26:11

It's just a mother nature missile. Her pawn popped out. I'm just kidding. Sometimes bringing it to the surface very quickly. According to Burton, the shape of these tree logs are consistent with many of the photos of Nessie. Okay. Well, I mean. This is why I'm glad that I had all these like pictures. You can go back and reference them. Yep. You can be like, look, this one. Those look like logs. And look how shallow that water is. You can tell that's fucking shallow right there. That's gotta be fake. That's gotta be fake as fog. I can't I don't actually weren't those the ones that were faked? These were the ones that were confirmed fake as fuck, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Yeah, that literally looks like logs. This was like he had put it over another book. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

No, that oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is these are the two, these ones were um literally pictures of dinosaurs put into the Photoshopped end, but this one has a reflection. So I don't know where this page belongs. Also, see she's in wakes. Loch Ness is prone to unusual ripples affecting its surface because of its long straight shape. So it could literally just be like the way that the water reverberates off of the bay, the bay, off of the the bank. Lots of waves. Could be just lots of waves, yeah. Quite literally, yeah. When oh Frogs doesn't have and then I don't know if I'm even saying this right, but a seycha is a standing wave in an enclosed or partially enclosed body of water that causes the water to slosh back and forth and creates rapid, significant changes in water levels. The loch nest oscillation period is 31.5 minutes. So like when you're in the bathtub. I was you know what's funny, I was thinking the exact same thing, but I was like, is anybody else? And you like rock back and forth to make the water go side to side. That's basically what's happening is like the water is like going from one side to the other. For a second I thought I was the bigger. And it takes about 30 minutes. Oh no. Every fucking time I've ever taken a bath, I did that. It's like I have dreams that I get Philip a bath just to do that. Anyways, it's like so it's like so narrow that it could literally just be the waves bouncing back and forth like a fucking ping-pong wall. Oh, it's kinetic energy. That's all it is, is kinetic energy.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Nessie is energy. Disappointing. The church of Nessie. So earthquakes in Scotland are usually too weak to cause observable observable seashes. However, an extremely massive earthquake far away could cause large enough waves. What? Yeah. Earthquakes travel far. I really didn't realize. Yeah, it's just vibration. There was a siege created in Loch Nest by the 1755 Lisbon earthquake. It was reportedly so violent as to threaten destruction to some houses built on the side of it. Wow. And the 1761 aftershock did cause two foot 60 centimeter waves. However, there were no reported sightings of the creature during either event. Which you would think. I'm like, if there was a big earthquake like that, something would be moving in the water.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

Yeah. And people would be like, that's that's clearly the monster.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Optical effects. Wind conditions can give a choppy, matted appearance to the water. This can cause calm patches to appear dark from the shore that reflect the mountains and clouds. In 1979, W. H. Len revealed that atmospheric refraction can distort the shape and size of objects and animals. Oh. He later published a photo of a mirage that caused a rock on Lake Winnipeg to resemble a head and neck. Oh. Seismic gas. More gas in this.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

Oh yeah, gassy bitches, classy witches.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

This one was caused by me. Italian geologist Luigi Piccardi proposed geological explanations could be responsible for an ancient legend and myths. Oh. Loch Ness lies along the Great Glen Fault. Many sightings only reported a large disturbance on the surface of water, which could be due to the release of gas through the fault line. It's highly possible it had been mistaken for something swimming below the surface. So it's just gas coming out of its crack. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

I'm glad that they don't explore my crack. Nah, I mean. We know lots of gas comes out of there. Oh yeah. So my source, our sources are Tetrazoology, Wikipedia, and National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Oh my god, I got it right on the first try. So what do you think, Allie?

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Um, it's very obvious that uh the Loch Ness monster is now just a gimmick for movies and books and TV shows and mysteries and people who want fucking attention. There is no Loch Ness Monster. Unfortunate.

SPEAKER_03 31:28

Disappointing.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

But it's okay because I'm still holding out hope for um what's the big sea monster that's supposed to come out at the end of the world? The Leviathan? The Leviathan. I still have hope for the Leviathan.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

I'm sure that it's like frozen down in some lava rock. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Or in Alaska. Or maybe Russia or somewhere in the Antarctic. Yeah. Green. Um the earth to start melting all of it so we can see all the cool stuff that's been stuck and lost for years.

SPEAKER_03 31:58

You heard it here first. Ali is pro-global warming.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

Kidding. I'm just curious to see all the ancient stuff that got lost away.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

Yeah, maybe we'll see like a frozen, like a mamma, a woolly mammoth. Yeah. Right now we're finding a bunch of new viruses. A wonderful. Yeah. Oh, you know, um, you know the movie The Blob? Not really that scary, right? Yeah. Until you listen to the last thing that they say. That they froze it in the polar ice caps. And as long as the the as long as the glaciers stay frozen, we're safe. So just tell me, is that movie scary for you now? I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

So thank you for listening to four episodes of um what turned out to be nothing.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

What turned out to just be a big waste of fucking money for a lot of people. But not a waste of time for our podcast. All we got out of this was sexy nassi. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

But it's okay because now we can make stickers with sexy nassi on them.

SPEAKER_03 33:05

We can have Dominique design them for us. So I've got kryptonite for you. I was gonna say aquamarine, but I think we already did that one. Maybe some kind of.

SPEAKER_00 33:17

I don't think Aquamarine was in here yet, was it? Yeah. It was turmaline? But it's like a turplexy blue. Yeah, it's like a quartz blue. So it's like a quartz and like a blue inside of it. This reminds me of a glacier.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

And it's it yes, it's glacier blues, and then it has it, it's the shape of like a tourmaline chunk.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

And today's rock is Hidden Knight. Never heard of that before.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

That's me. I'm a Hidden Knight. I'm a Hidden Knight. I'm hidden away from the world. Do you know what Hidden Knight is? Never heard of this before. Alright, so we're all gonna learn about this together. I've never I get so excited to learn about a new rock because you know what's gonna happen now? As soon as I push end recording, I'm gonna go on Etsy and find myself some fucking Hidden Knight.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

The funny thing is, this is one of the only rocks that we've gotten to that neither of us know what it is.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

Neither of us know what it is. It's also the first one that I didn't know of. Yeah. I know more rocks than I realized.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

What it is a variety of spotty mean hiddenites green aura emanates the warm and fuzzies. It sure does. Right. I was thinking about that when I was reading this and like I was looking at it, and I was like, this is very nice.

SPEAKER_03 34:29

Cozy and peaceful makes me want to sip a cup of tea by a fire for the floor.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

Which is weird because it does look very cold. Right? If you tap into the stone's frequencies and feel the buzz, you must have a big heart. Use it. Who needs it? French. Me. You're French.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

I am French.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

Oh, you are. I forgot about that. French existentialists, future trippers, bad romantics.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

Oh my god, literally me in every sense. What the fuck? Lady Gaga.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

Where to put it? Hidden Knight, like its cloudy pink cousin Kunzite, should be aimed at the heart. When to use it. When you find yourself stuck in the past or too focused on the future, Hidden Knight is down to make the most of every moment. If you're in a rut, call on Hidden Knight to help you love your way out of it. I like this. This is cute. Um, the motto for this card is claim your happy place. Oh. Which I like. I'm already on Etsy. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

It is. And then it's cousin conzite. Look at that. It looks like fucking bubblegum rock. Looks like you could eat it like candy.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

It does look like um like kryptonite.

SPEAKER_03 35:45

Uh-huh. Have we done it? Is that it? We did it.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

I did I think so.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

We did Nessie. We did 25 episodes. We did Nessie. Of Nessie. Oh, whoa. We've done it. We've done Nessie. Am I gonna need a Nessie doll for you two? We're done. We're finished with the Loch Ness monster. We told you everything we could find on the thing. Thank you guys for bearing with us. I'm salty as fuck. I wanted her to be real so bad. I hope we're wrong and one day it just comes out of the lock. Right? I'm just flying right out, and she like does a little flounce, flexes or abs, and she says, I'm sexy nessie. How you doing, bean? And then just jumps right back in. And just jumps right the fuck back in. Never to be seen again for another 10,000 years.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

So thank you guys for listening to Conjuring Chaos. Make sure to hit that subscribe button and look us up on the social medias.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok as Conjuring Chaos Podcast.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Please email us your story so we can tell them on the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

No matter how big, no matter how small, no matter how weird, no matter how normal you think it is, we want to talk about it, we want to hear it, we love this stuff, and we hope that you do too. We're two witchy weirdos with microphones. And thank you for conjuring chaos with us.